I don't have one friend at all

So here it goes

My fiance is always telling me I need friends. I know this. I don't have one single actual friend anymore. I've moved 30 some odd times in my 25 year life and I've made so many friends. But they are all in other states, and unfortunately my wedding went to prove that we have grown apart. I had 3 bridesmaids and one maid of honor. I had a work colleague (who I would consider my only friend if she wasn't twice my age and we don't have anything in common but our general morals, but she is so nice and I really like her, we are just two completely different people) a cousin and a old friend as my bridesmaids. I had my best friend from high school as my maid of honor. I keep in touch with the old friend and high school best friend via facebook but that's about it.

So two months before the wedding the friend and best friend were not giving me their measurements for the bridesmaids dresses. So I emailed them saying "You know, I need these measurements by x date so I can order the dresses in time. If you don't think you can make it I will understand just please let me know." Within two weeks they wrote back saying no they couldn't make it. Although I asked them an entire year before the wedding and they both insisted they would be there the whole time until a month and a half before the wedding.

Then a week before the wedding my cousin tells me she might not make it but she didn't know. After a year of her agreeing to be there even she stands me up. Didn't have the decensy to let me know she wasn't actually going, last I'd heard she was trying to figure out a way to get there. So I find out on the wedding day she wasn't going, by her not being there. Other people stood in for the MIA bridesmaids but only girlfriends of my fiances friends. How pathetic!

Since I moved to my home state I met my fiance right away. I had a toddler and worked full time at a very small restaurant where I was the only female. I made friends with my fiances friends (the males) but that's about it. And they are his friends not mine, we just all get along pretty well.

I've had friends on and off since moving here but somehow at some point we stop hanging out. I will text them and weeks later get a text back. By that point I'm busy or something is going on so yeah we just lose touch.

I have no job or license. I sit at home all day every day with my daughter. That's it. That's my life. And my fiance keeps making comments about me needing friends. I know this, but how? I'm so used to being in my little bubble that I just don't know how the propper way to make friends is any more. Before meeting my husband I was in a very abusive relationship where I literally was not allowed to have friends. The neighbor would come over from time to time but that was about it. So it's been about 8 years since I have actually had a friend or made a friend.

I need someone to talk to IRL I just don't know how to go about it without a way to leave my home, with my anxiety of leaving the home and my apparent lack of social skills. I don't know what to do. I get jealous and envious of all these women, all these old friends on facebook who have all these new friends and they have all of these experiences and fun with their friends. I'm not jealous because they have a friend that's not me, I'm jealous because I want friends too. It sucks! My bachelorette party consisted of me, my mom, my work colleague and my husbands friends girlfriend. Makes me feel pretty pathetic

How do you meet people and actually build a friendship? Especially when you're horribly shy, have no way to leave the home and horrible anxious person?

Get outside? Can you walk to a park or library nearby? When and where will your daughter be going to school?

We live in the middle of no where in our town. It sucks. Because of my inability to work we get lower rent in our home which is why we continue to live here. I've been wanting to move back into town but we cant afford a move atm. My daughter starts kindergarten in the fall and her school is about 1/2 a mile from our home. We live in a residential area but not really, there are a lot of homes but all spread out and we live on a chain of islands which our island is mostly for homes, in town is about 3 miles out. There is a park about a mile away I just don't feel safe walking with my daughter since we don't have sidewalks on the main road by my home. I go to the park with my daughter when I get the chance but even there, I don't know how to start up the discussion with anyone, how to continue contact with the person or anything of the sort. It sucks. I talk to them sometimes but at the end of the conversation it's like "OK well it was nice meeting you, see ya around some time" but you never see them around

Do u live in a city? Or small town? Or r u pretty much isolated? Have u thought about getting ur lisence?

((Purple)),

You have to be patient right now until your little one can start preschool where you will get a chance to meet other parents. You are not alone in "feeling lonely" with a young child, actually alot of young mothers struggle with this "feeling alone" time until their child gets older and they can meet other mothers and make "new" friends. You have a challenge in that you can't drive and that you don't live in an area where you can walk to places that can expose you to "other young parents".

Please don't dwell on feeling "pathetic" because you have not established a solid group of friends right now, you have "had" good friends, but it is really "normal" to get to an age where "good ole friends go their seperate ways and it can feel like you are being ditched".

You need to find some activities "on the weekends" that your husband can drive you to where young children and their parents are "doing activities" together. Is there a YMCA near you that offers some swim classes or something, even a playground for young parents and their children? Is there a local library that has a Saturday reading for little children? Often Libraries will have a bulliton board that has activities offered even from other groups for young children.

All you really need is to find another parent that wants a friend for their child too and can offer to pick you and your child up to do things with together. You are just at a new place in your life and you have to find ways to "meet" other young mothers until you can find one or two that can pick you up for play dates or to do the park or other things that young mother's do with their children. Young mothers are always looking for ways to help their children have little friends to play with and also be able to have company to do things with, I was one of those mothers, and I had to find new friends too. I would have been willing to drive if a mother told me she could not drive because she had experienced a seisure a while back so she is not able to drive for safety reasons but is doing ok otherwise.

Your child is getting old enough now where you can begin looking for a playmate now. So take some time to look around and as I said, find things to do on the weekends until you can really "meet" other mothers, they "are" out there you know. You need to say a little more then just say "hi" and chit chat, get more forward and be honest about looking for a new friend that you can do things with that is willing to drive. You don't have to get into a ton of reasons, just keep it simple, but no one is going to "know your needs" unless you speak up. Remember, you already know you are a good person, a good mother and you have "good intentions", so as long as you have that, there is no reason you should "hold back" from being more open.

((Hugs))
OE

Look up a moms' group - I understand that you are in the middle of nowhere, but still, there might be something for you.

If that fails, maybe you can strike friendships on the playgrounds. How old is your girl now?

I doubt that you have no people skills; I think it is more of an aftermath of the abuse during which you were not allowed to make friends - maybe you are still scared.

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