[runner0o]

Hi there,

I am really confused as to what is going on with my brain right now. I cannot talk to anyone about any. Last week, I went to my friends house and I couldn't converse or keep a conversation going at all. My friend told me that I need to open up more and learn to push myself out of the comfort zone.

But the problem is, I'm like that in my own home. I live with my family and I don't talk to them everyday at all. I am in my room all day on the computer. When my dad tries to talk to me, suddenly I have a bad mood and I asnwer in one word answers agreeing to everything he's saying. When my dad asks a question, any question, I say "I don't know" and look down with a angry face. He's not doing anything wrong or yelling at me. I stopped talking to my sister and whenever shes around anywhere in the house, whether its the kitchen, living room or anywhere, i just run away to my room and close the door. I don't know why I stopped talking to her.

We also have paying guest living in my basement and whenver they try to talk to me, I just say hi and run to my room. Let's say they are eating downstairs, and my dad calls me to come eat, I yell and say that I am not hungry from my room. Only after everyone is cleared from the table and no one is downstairs, I can go and eat.

I don't want todo this anymore. What is going on with me? I am so confused as to why I am behaving this way. I am not angry at anyone, at least it doesn't feel that way until I talk to my family. My mood changes instantly and I have no control. My thoughts are always happy and I feel like I want to say so many things but when I try to talk, its all one word answers.

My father is concerned about me because he tells me that if he has a heart condition and I should be the man of the house and be ready to take care of the family if anything were to happen to him any day. Not my family, not anyone understands a word when I talk. I speak fluent english but I just have this mind freeze and sudden change of emotions to bad moods that stops my conversation and changes my behavior.

Even when strangers try to talk to me outside or when new students come and talk to me, I cannot converse with them and give them one word answers. What is this mindset called? No matter what I research on depression, I cannot relate to any of them. I am confused to what is going on with me. It's been going on for 3 years now. I want to change but at the same time I don't. Some people in my university tell me that I am stuck in a shell. But as much as I try to push myself to talk, it's not happening.

I know my mother has had schizoprenia for 25 years and she still has it. Maybe I'm becoming like her and as I become older, I will lose touch with reality and go completely schizoprenic. Could this end up happening? its my worst fear.

[shezbut]

Hi runner0o,

Why don't you talk with a T at your university about what you have said here? They are a great resource, go in and talk with one about what you said here! If you feel uncomfortable in saying more than a word or two, maybe you could print a copy of what you just said here, and hand that to your uni's T.

If you're unwilling to go to a T ~ then I can't really think of anything to help you get through this 3 year pattern. I have attached some information on schizophrenia to help answer your Q on whether or not this diagnosis is in your future. In my opinion, you really should see a T to relieve yourself of worries and find out what you can do to get back into the groove in communicating.

Tests and diagnosis... By Mayo Clinic staff

When doctors suspect someone has schizophrenia, they typically ask for medical and psychiatric histories, conduct a physical exam, and run medical and psychological tests and exams. These tests and exams generally include:

Laboratory tests. These may include a complete blood count (CBC), other blood tests that may help to rule out other conditions with similar symptoms, screening for alcohol and drugs, and imaging studies, such as an MRI or CT scan.
Psychological evaluation. A doctor or mental health provider will check mental status by observing appearance and demeanor and asking about thoughts, moods, delusions, hallucinations, substance abuse, and potential for violence or suicide.

Diagnostic criteria for schizophrenia

To be diagnosed with schizophrenia, a person must meet the criteria spelled out in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). This manual is published by the American Psychiatric Association and is used by mental health providers to diagnose mental conditions.

Diagnosis of schizophrenia involves ruling out other mental health disorders and determining that symptoms aren't due to substance abuse, medication or a medical condition. In addition, a person must:

Have at least two of the common symptoms of the disorder — delusions, hallucinations, disorganized speech, disorganized or catatonic behavior, or presence of negative symptoms for a significant amount of time during one month
Experience significant impairment in the ability to work, attend school or perform normal daily tasks
Have had symptoms for at least six months
There are several subtypes of schizophrenia, but not everyone easily fits into a specific category. The five most common subtypes are:

Paranoid. Characterized by delusions and hallucinations, this type generally involves less functional impairment and offers the best hope for improvement.
Catatonic. People with this subtype don't interact with others, get into bizarre positions, or engage in meaningless gestures or activities.
Disorganized. Characterized by disorganized thoughts and inappropriate expressions of emotion, this type generally involves the most functional impairment and offers the least hope for improvement.
Undifferentiated. This is the largest group of people with schizophrenia, whose dominant symptoms come from more than one subtype.
Residual. This type is characterized by extended periods without prominent positive symptoms, but other symptoms continue.

[runner0o]

Hey thank you for the detailed response. What is a T? You mean my professor? or teachers assistant?

[shezbut]

Sorry, T stands for therapist.