Butt Hurt

Why is it so simple for people to have unnecessary conflict, especially in a place we're people are so connected? I know that different opinions are important, because it's the one sure way to get an entire perspective. How do we do it without bumping heads and becoming butt hurt. It's hard to "talk" to a person through writing, because your unable to hear the tone of their voice, and know if they are joking, being sarcastic, or offended.

Support.............yes, that's basically what PC is here for. No matter what, a group of people will always bump heads some place along the line, I think that there should be some sort of remedial type conflict forum. How I would do it if I was the boss was pull a mod aside, show them what you wrote to be approved (to ensure their is no bashing, threatening, rude behavior) and then have it posted so that conflicts could be resolved, PM's can be intimidating to some................what do you all think, have any of your own ideas?

Not really sure. I think once you start adding moderating into every post, is that what you mean, even if it is in it's own section, it may make some people feel too censored. Moderators & moderating work only as much as a person trusts the person and the process.

You are right, there will always be butting of heads no matter where we go in life, here too, as you have stated. I think, perhaps, especially here, we can take into account that we know, that we can sometimes be sensitive and we do deal with many "sensitive" issues. We are all adults, we need to take a step back maybe? A few moments off? And review whatever it is we personally find the issue??? That's how I have run it in other groups I belong to and/or have managed (outside of here).

Not sure this was of any help, but it's just my two cents worth.

L

for me i know that if someone is all like "oh its gonna be okay everything will turn out just fine" then i know it wont..but i have to have someone tell it to me straight even though it might hurt like poo...i will never get it unless people would STOP sugar coating EVERYTHING...soo thats why i may be a little harsh but i know people need to hear the truth with out it being sugar coated..

This topic keeps coming up every couple weeks and the bottom line is that in life NO ONE is going to agree with everyone 100% of the time. This site provides for disagreements and triggers by supplying an IGNORE icon.

And

No one can possibly know everyones triggers.

for some people a trigger can be even a smilie or hug

for others it a specfic word. and that word does not have to be a bleep word. for example one of my friends the word - Apple - triggers her because she was raped in an apple orchard. For another friend the word yes is a trigger because her abuse kept saying yes while doing his dirty deed.

Pulling moderators into every post is not going to do anything. They do go through the message boards and remove those posts that go against the site rules. Anything else is left on the boards.

How many other ways do the moderators and members need to keep repeating -

IF you dont like what you are reading or have a problem with some one - CLICK ON THE IGNORE ICON and stop making this into a public problem.

EACH INDIVIDUAL PERSON IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR OWN ON LINE EXPERIENCE.

THAT MEANS - CLICK ON THAT IGNORE ICON WHEN YOU ENCOUNTER A POST THAT YOU DO NOT LIKE OR ONE THAT TRIGGERS YOU.

I also believe it is posts like this that keeps bringing this issue up every couple weeks is in part keeping the members upset about the fact that there are disagreements here.

so my personal suggestion is that when people think there needs to be a post like this that they approach a moderator or administrator and tell the moderator they THIER SELF are encountering this problem so that the moderators and or administrators can help them or post an official reminder of the site rules on this issue that way the whole community is not once again up in arms worrying and looking around trying to locate the problem that the poster is making reference to.

So my opinion on this issue -

DROP IT OFF THE PUBLIC BOARDS AND TAKE THIS ISSUE UP WITH THE MODERATORS AND ADMINISTRATORS WHEN YOU ENCONTER THIS PROBLEM. AND STOP SENDING THE COMMUNITY INTO NEEDLESS WORRY ABOUT FIGHTS AND DISAGREEMENTS THAT THEY ARE NOT A PART OF BY BRINGING THE ISSUE OF DISAGREEMENTS UP ON THE PUBLIC BOARDS.

if we go to mods with every dissagreement isn't that censoring posts, does this make any since to anyone?
Angie

No thats what the mods and administrators are there for- to enforce site rules and help those having a problem with other members and problems in general when someone has a problem with what is being posted.

if someone has a problem with how someone has posted to another person then they should be notifying a moderator or administrator. not posting these general posts about having disagreements. these general posts keep getting posted regularly every two weeks now and then for the next two weeks the community is in uproar because everyone is trying to figure out where the problem of disagreement is and who is involved and worrying about whether or not they are safe to post because someone might not like what they post and so on.

Bottom line disagreements between members are supposed tobe kept in pm and or with the moderators and administrators.

Posting these general posts is basically saying - hey there everyone someone is fighting right now. then everyone takes flight and fight modes

Why keep doing that?

theres no reason to keep advertizing there is fighting going on here everyone already knows this is not utopia and there are going to be disagreements.

So why keep posting every two weeks about disagreements?

Disagrreements are supposed to be dealt with among the members involved and the mods and administrators. so posts about disagreements with in the community should also be dealt with by pm instead of public posts.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
myself said:
No thats what the mods and administrators are there for- to enforce site rules and help those having a problem with other members and problems in general when someone has a problem with what is being posted.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">


Per DocJohn.... MODS are here to enforce the "RULES" & "GUIDELINES" of the FORUM and not to deal with every little disagreement or problem that may arise between the vast amount of members on here.... they (the mods & admin) have a life to live too and well, we all just need to learn to get along, as the ADULTS we are.

BTW - I might have paraphrased some of Docs words, so please don't jump down his throat on this one, but you get the message - right?

LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

Thats ok I know what you mean and thanks for the reminder. Ill refraise -

If people have a problem with what they see posted they can contact a moderator or administrator. or use the ignore Icon.

I have noticed a pattern with these threads about the community in disagreement and that is that the threads come up every two weeks just in time for everyone in the community to settle down and start being comfortable here again.

The fact that there is a pattern says it MAY (no guarentee) be intentional in that some are using this type of post to continue keeping the chaos of fighting going.

Everyone already knows there are disagreements.

and the moderators and administrators have made it clear that if you don't like what you read then use the ignore Icon.

So why keep advertizing there is fighting here?

If you have a problem with any fighting you happen to experience or see you have two options contact a moderator or administrator or turn on the ignore icon so that you do not have to experience the disagreements among others.

in my opinion the only reason I see for posting about community disagreements, given how often disagreements among the community members have already been discussed here is to continue creating chaos among the members.

I think its time to DROP the threads about community disagreements and take care of the issue in pm instead of keep advertizing there is fighting somewhere here at PC going on.

everyone already knows theres fighting here. so if you don't want to exprience the fighting its called ignore Icon.

you turn on the botton and no longer see those offending threads and posts with the fighting going on in them. You can also contact a moderator or administrator and if the offending post or thread goes against site rules it will be edited or removed by a moderator or administrator.