An on-off friend

Hi.

Well i wanted to write about this friend of mine.

We have been on-off friends for years...since year 7 at school.

But i don't really feel comfortable talking to her about everything...i don't think she has the right attitude.

For example, i will talk about 'hot' guys but she would never word it that way, infact she hardly ever talks about guys you wonder that she has crushes but just doesn't talk about them. Or she doesn't have enough self-confidence to imagine herself with them.

And the other thing that bothers me is she doesn't take a lot of care in her appearance, and just wears whatever, even old school clothes.

I dunno, i feel she kind of whines a bit, always telling me to not think about things too much, but that has never hurt me.

Although i thought we were friends again, i think i will spend less and less time with her.

What do you think?

It is nice to be reminicent, but she sounds like an old prude. You grew up and out. She did nothing.

So this is a great place to grow at Psych Central. I am also glad that you enjoy speaking about how you feel and find it healthy to vent. Someone like her, who dosen't vent is actually dangerous emotionally and sooner or later she will end up messed up. Sounds like she is going to be an old maid who grumbles to herself, or finds a poor soul to torment, (somehow) So as soon as you make a clean break from (her) you will forever be cleared from loniloness, bordom and unhealthiness, (which you once may have been for a short time) YOur life has taken a turn for the "healthy" and "growning" Sounds like you better stay away from "the oldy moldy" Good LUCK, If I were you I WOULDN'T LOOK BACK, for a while- GET A WAY FROM IT !!!!!! You deserve to !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Enjoy your life and your existance and STAY WELL, You Can Do It. Believe in You, You need no one's opproval. You deserve it. You can!!! You should!! Live Now!!! Why not give life your best Shot??? Message me anytime!!! You are G-R-E-A-T !!

*BUMP* more comments please!

People...i really need help with this.

Please post some thoughts...anything will do!

thanks, gold

Maybe YOU should seek some more friends.... have a variety of them, hang with many ppl as your moods allow.

Good Luck....


LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

Hi I think we can have friends that meet some of our needs and are close to us in some ways but not all. I am thinking you and your friend can stay friends but maybe stick to the things you have in common and maybe make friends with girls who like Hot guys and make up...like to dress nice and so on..then you can have many friends and not really be annoyed when they do not meet you eye to eye on things,...You will be better able to accept and be accepted for who you are by each friend. And ....you will accept each friend for who they are and can avoid conflict in areas you will never agree or feel the same on.

I think you'd have to open up, have a honest conversation with her, and let her know what you are feeling. Be honest, she may not see that about herself, and if it was revealed to her she may try to change it abit. I hope all works out between you and her, unfortunately as friends grow older, their fear to be open about issues such as this become stronger.

Thanks guys for your comments!

Well, here's a thought that comes to mind for me. Could your friend be gay? Myabe the reason she doesn't talk about men like that is because she isn't interested in them. I have a friend like that, I kind of always knew she was, just never said anything. Figured when she was ready, or understood even, she'd come out of the closet.

If that's not the case, well, maybe she is a bit more reserved about things. We all have our aspects that we are more open about, and not everyone wants to be that into the newest fashion craze. Looks aren't everything are they? After all, don't judge a book by it's cover...yaddi yadda.

I don't think you have to abandon this friendship, just realize there are all forms of relations(hips). Some go deep, some only on the surface, and some in between, etc... I have friends that are casual, kindred, distance, etc... She sounds like one of the ones you won't go to for the emotional support needed during a major crisis, but someone that you can enjoy the day with??? or maybe not?

hugs Lisa

You know i don't think she is gay. I don't know but i don't think so.

But i think i will stop seeing her, because there is enough that i don't like about her.

Hi I have a friend who can be just the same

I grow up left home got married had kids ect were as she is still at home has no kids (but would like them) but as I tell her it will not happen while she is still at home she 28yrs
when we go out she does her hair the same way every time & she always wears the same sort of clothes black trousers with a red, black or purple top when I go out I will wear jeans skirt trousers ect with white tops black tops blue ect she is one of my best friends I have known her for over 20yrs I have just said to my self that is the way she is & have accepted it I see her about once a month now that way we stay friends & can have a good laugh still & her ways dont bug me lol

Just to update everyone who has read and commented:

I spoke to this girl on msn and said, i don't think our friendship is working.

She asked a few questions, and i told her that she had annoyed me a lot.

And then she said, this is stupid it's not like it's going to do anything cos we never do anything anyway.

OMG! Wouldn't she say something like, if you feel that way, that i've neglected you, let's catch up then.

It's obvious i'm not important to her.

So i came away feeling really satisfied that i'd done something good for me!