[poptart316]

So I have a boyfriend, we just became official a few days ago but I'm having doubts. Stupid little things are irritating me.. like the way he dresses, the way he looks without his beard, the fact that he's balding, how he listens to Daft Punk, how he says he loves me, how we don't really talk or do anything when we hang out.

I think what really bothers me is that he's nice, I'm don't normally do "nice".. I like assholes with a negative worldview and that's totally not him. He's nice and sweet and makes me feel good but none of that turns me on, I'm having a hard time getting turned on.. attraction isn't totally absent, it just isn't intense, there's no passion.

What should I do? I haven't been able to get this off of my mind all day.

Why did you become official when you were having doubts? Is there something there that does draw you to him, or is it more brotherly/sisterly. Someone who makes you feel good is a good thing though.

You have to do whatever makes you happy. If you're feeling like this so soon, then it doesn't bode well for the future. Nitpicking over appearance and music taste isn't a good sign and those things you should, with the right person, just accept as part of the person.

Hugs.

[~Christina]

Sounds to me like this relationship is going to go no where, so why not end it now. Waiting is just going to prolong your unhappiness and his feelings of loving you will only get stronger hense making it harder on him.

Good luck

[TanyaP]

Originally Posted by poptart316

So I have a boyfriend, we just became official a few days ago but I'm having doubts. Stupid little things are irritating me.. like the way he dresses, the way he looks without his beard, the fact that he's balding, how he listens to Daft Punk, how he says he loves me, how we don't really talk or do anything when we hang out.

I think what really bothers me is that he's nice, I'm don't normally do "nice".. I like assholes with a negative worldview and that's totally not him. He's nice and sweet and makes me feel good but none of that turns me on, I'm having a hard time getting turned on.. attraction isn't totally absent, it just isn't intense, there's no passion.

What should I do? I haven't been able to get this off of my mind all day.

It's not just you, many ladies do have a hard time getting to like a really good guy and choose some bad guys to be with instead just because they are more attracted to them. They even have a saying " guys are of 2 kinds - some are nice and some are the ones we like". Of course, it would benefit you if you get involved with someone "nice" on the long run if you are looking for a serious relationship because you will be secure and he will care for you and treat you well. But if the attraction is not there, it won't make you happy to be around that person, I'm afraid.. Yet, if you think he's a good person on the overall, maybe you could first discuss those issues you don't like about him with him, and see if he might change some of his ways and habits for you. And if even that doesn't help you to feel more attracted to him, I guess he's just not the one for you..

[poptart316]

Originally Posted by TanyaP

It's not just you, many ladies do have a hard time getting to like a really good guy and choose some bad guys to be with instead just because they are more attracted to them. They even have a saying " guys are of 2 kinds - some are nice and some are the ones we like". Of course, it would benefit you if you get involved with someone "nice" on the long run if you are looking for a serious relationship because you will be secure and he will care for you and treat you well. But if the attraction is not there, it won't make you happy to be around that person, I'm afraid.. Yet, if you think he's a good person on the overall, maybe you could first discuss those issues you don't like about him with him, and see if he might change some of his ways and habits for you. And if even that doesn't help you to feel more attracted to him, I guess he's just not the one for you..

This hits the nail on the head, I'm certain I'm attracted to assholes and like guys who are a negative and a bit on the rough side, although I don't think it's good for me to date these kinds of guy.. plus when I do my emotions are too intense and I wind up getting infatuated and obsessed with them and I really don't want that. I like that things are calm and stable with the my boyfriend, although I'm kind of worried I might get bored with it. I'm going to keep dating him and see what happens, I'm hoping maybe my feelings will grow with time.. he is very sweet and I do like spending time with him.