[Dengar]

My BP fiance is all-over me with love three weeks out of every month, ESPECIALLY during her period. During that latter time is the time she professes the deepest affections for me and our future.

However, in the days leading into her ovulation, and just afterwards, she grows VERY cold to me. It happens like the flip of a switch, and when it happens I know she'll be like it for at least a week. She can't stand to be near me, and recoils at my touch.

It mystifies her because she'd never had this reaction with her previous two husbands or any other lovers - just me. She reasons that because I'm the first person she's ever truly felt love from, and who admits I treat her hundreds of times better than anyone else ever has, that the withdrawal period during ovulation is so pronounced with me.

Has anyone else with BP ever experienced this? Or anyone else who's a BP supporter?

Thanks so much in-advance!

[hamster-bamster]

No. It is weird. It is sort of counter-darwinistic. Also, counter-biblical.

I would suggest that she try birth control that would suppress her ovulation to see if that helps. That is the most obvious approach - an experiment in which the proposed cause of her coldness is removed altogether.

Good luck.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Dengar

She reasons that because I'm the first person she's ever truly felt love from, and who admits I treat her hundreds of times better than anyone else ever has, that the withdrawal period during ovulation is so pronounced with me.

Meaning that?.. Do you see that the sentence makes no sense?

[Dengar]

Thanks so much hamster-bamster! I'm sure that birth-control may indeed be the answer here.

As far as my sentence in-question, to her that level of love means that's the reason she does the "Push" part of the BP "push-pull" cycle with me. She reasons that because of the deep-affections with me, I become the prime target for her to push away, out of a feeling of unworthiness of anyone's love, especially the first love she's ever felt from a significant other.

I really appreciate your insight!

[Dengar]

Thanks so much hamster-bamster!

We'll indeed have to try that approach.

As for why she pushes me away so hard during the "push" part of her BP "push-pull cycle" she reasons is because I'm the first person she's ever felt love from, and correspondingly she feels very unworthy during those times.

Thanks for your insight!

[hamster-bamster]

oh, I see, so you meant borderline, not bipolar?

[Dengar]

Well, she has been alternately diagnosed with both BP and Borderline, but displays more Borderline symptoms overall. One primary factor in all this is the sheer amount of transitional change she's been undergoing the past two years, such as divorce and transitioning out of an extremely fundamentalist religion, on top of raising five children aged 3-15. We imagine that once all this transitional stress goes away soon that she'll stop having this weird reaction.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Dengar

Well, she has been alternately diagnosed with both BP and Borderline, but displays more Borderline symptoms overall. One primary factor in all this is the sheer amount of transitional change she's been undergoing the past two years, such as divorce and transitioning out of an extremely fundamentalist religion, on top of raising five children aged 3-15. We imagine that once all this transitional stress goes away soon that she'll stop having this weird reaction.

On this site, BP=bipolar, BPD=borderline, which is why what you wrote in OP was so weird, initially, since bipolar people do not have this push-pull dynamic, as a general rule, and borderline people do.

I would say that:

1) having five children aged 3-15
2) a divorce
3) transitioning out of an extremist faith

can, JOINTLY AND SEPARATELY, cause a lot of trouble.

So I hope things will get better when the dust settles, and, on top of it, birth control that stops ovulation may help with a good likelihood.

I applaud you for having the courage of loving a borderline woman with five children and a fundamentalist background!!

[Dengar]

Thank you so much!!

Today's one of those "cold" days, and I can only pray it lasts shorter than ever.

Thank you ever much for confirming that all that transitional stress is enough for an even-keel person, much less one who has borderline tendencies.

It HAS been getting easier each time as I notice the symptoms coming on and I can detach altogether.

I appreciate your feedback! Have a great day.