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#1
Jun 10, 2013, 10:52 PM
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Let's just say I have issues.
At this moment I am considering dating this older woman with whom I feel I have a bit in common. Is it possible for me to date while I don't have my life together and am essentially a homeless person? |
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#2
Jun 11, 2013, 12:52 AM
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Assuming you've represented yourself to her honestly, where's the problem? Allow her to make her own informed decision about whether or not you have a prominent place in her life. Exactly WHAT prominent place, the two of you sort out together. And good luck to you.
__________________
You never change something by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the old model obsolete. --Buckminster Fuller |
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#3
Jun 11, 2013, 02:33 AM
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No, just no. Your date will eventually find out and think you are only "in it" for opportunity.
Don't have a job? Get one. Find out what kind of job you like doing and apply for one near by. As for a car, depends on where you live. If you are less than a 30 minute walk from the nearest bus or train station, you don't need a car. |
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#4
Jun 11, 2013, 02:38 AM
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Yeah sure, dating would be nice except for the fact that you have no income. Are you eligible for disability or can you work a part time job?
__________________
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. anonymous |
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#5
Jun 11, 2013, 07:27 AM
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Quote:
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#6
Jun 11, 2013, 11:29 AM
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Are you able to work (ie no severe disability)? If so, why not put your time and energy into getting a job instead of on dating? Sure, going on some dates might be fun, but it probably won't materialize into anything if you do not have your life together. If you want a real relationship down the road, getting a job and a place to live are necessities. They will also give you a sense of purpose and self-esteem. Going on a few dates may be a fun distraction, but applying for some jobs is the fist step you need to take if you want something sustainable in the future.
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#7
Jun 11, 2013, 11:50 PM
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Quote:
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#8
Jun 12, 2013, 01:05 AM
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Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. If it's a good relationship, go for it. If it turns out to be problematic, end it.
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#9
Jun 12, 2013, 01:20 AM
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If you do begin a relationship, do you expect that she will pay for things? Dating can be incredibly expensive, even if you do get some money from the government. Since you live with your parents, do expect that you will spend time together at her place? Being at home with the parents isn't exactly conducive to an intimate/private relationship. I suppose it all depends on what kind of relationship you want. |
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#10
Jun 12, 2013, 05:10 AM
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I don't interview well, I think that's the reason I don't get work. I barely make eye contact with people. Stuff like that. |
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#11
Jun 12, 2013, 05:18 AM
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The main thing in a relationship is honesty. Do not present yourself as any different than what you really are. If she knows who you are and what issues you have and if she is still interested in proceeding then by all means, go for it.
If you're not being totally honest with her you are fooling both her and yourself.
__________________
YOU are a beautiful, inherently powerful, irreplaceable, unique and wonderful being of infinite worth and value. |
 scorpiosis37
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#12
Jun 16, 2013, 01:44 PM
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I can't see why you shouldn't. You should do what makes you happy!
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#13
Jun 17, 2013, 01:38 AM
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I think the important thing is that you are totally honest with her. Let her make her own decisions and go from there. I say this because I once dated a guy that was 9 years younger than me and at the time he had a part time job, no car, lived with his parents. It just so happens that he was emotionally able to give me what I needed when it seemed like nobody else could, so I chose to overlook those things. It didn't work out in the long run for other reasons, but he is still one of my closest friends, and I consider him to be one of the few people in my life that really does care about me.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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