Friend is visiting tomorrow...

My old college roommate is visiting and staying over when her house gets painted. Anyhow, I'm nervous! I only talk to her once very few years, but the last time we hung out was a few weeks ago- it was great. She's having a baby, bought a new house, etc. I'm nervous to have her come to my place. Idk why either! Why am I so nervous. Maybe bc I'm afraid she's gonna judge my place or me. Idk what we'll do for the day- shipping or something???

She may judge, but YOU do not have to feel that you need to measure up. You are living your own life!

Yea that's a good point. I know a good friend won't judge. I have been trying to break it down even more- I think I'm not wanting her to come bc she's a reminder of what I failed at. She has a house, husband, and a family on the way. I get to show her that still living like I'm just out of college, but 10 years later, broke, renting, and single. It sucks.

If she is a good friend, you will connect.

I just came back from visiting my old old old gf in Chicago. We have known each other since we were both six.

She has a palatial house, a hard working CPA husband with his own accounting firm, three lovely children, etc. etc.

And I have nothing.

But it is OK - we connected very well. I am glad I went. I used to think that this kind of difference in social status would be a divide, but - it was not.

And I just recently did hang up after talking with her for two hours.

BUT I understand how your position is different from mine because she will visit YOU. I would not want my friend to visit me in my apartment. So sure, get that part.

Dearheart, obviously she KNOWS about the fact that you're renting, single, have financial problems, etc., and it doesn't MATTER to her -- she's coming anyway, right? If it mattered, do you think she'd come?

She's coming to stay with YOU -- not your circumstances!! It's obvious she cares about YOU and not what has happened. She hasn't judged you so far, so what are you worried about?

Seems to me that she's a pretty good friend. I surely wouldn't worry about your circumstances. I'd look forward to her visit and try to have some FUN! I hope you do have fun -- and hope the weather cooperates too!

Take care my friend and let us know how it goes. Hugs, Lee

Like your post, doggiedo(and your user name, there`s a lot of it about lol) but I have always wondered why women see success as having a husband and kids.
Don`t worry toon much about your friends opinion if she looks "down her nose" at your situation then she isn`t a friend, just my opinion, good luck.

Interesting, Dionysus-I don't think that the family and husband are everything, but they are the only missing pieces at this point in my life. It's what I value and what I find meaningful, if that makes any sense.

I'm dreading having her come. I keep throwing around thoughts or excuses as to what I can say to get out of it. I won't, of course, since has her plans set in stone. It's not fair.

Idk why, but I'd just rather be by myself. I find that having people over to my apartment is somewhat intrusive and idk why- I never grew up like that. I love to entertain at my parents' house. I just don't want people here. Now, I'm dreading the next few hours go by slow...to put off the inevitable.

I hope you manage to go through with it, as you say it wouldn`t be "fair", hope she isn`t staying long, I can imagine your relief when it is over, stay strong!!

I forgot to say let us know how it went.

Hey...I sometimes feel the same way about people coming over...I have a house that I own and am pretty happy to show it off...but, to have a visitor for longer than an hour or two stresses me out...and I don't know why. I am not married and spend a fair amount of time alone (boyfriend and I don't live together) and think that I'm just used to my own company. I've gotten better at "small talk" over the years and can pretty much fake it at this point, but it's still something that makes me sensitive from time to time...but, the more you do it, the easier it gets....

I've never like having people come to my house either. No matter which house I lived in, so it's not the house. It's me being insecure and afraid of judgement. I'm not sure why I'm like this, but it makes me anxious.

I hope you can manage to enjoy yourself a little at least. If she is a true friend she want be judging you.

Thanks guys. I'm glad there are some people who feel the same way as I do. I worry for nothing. My visit went great. We slept in- I gave her my bed bc she's 7 mos prego and I took the air mattress that ended up deflating so I ends up on the bed. Anyhow, besides the crappy sleep, lol. We walked the dog, went to the store to get a new bathing suit for me, and then went out to eat, before coming home and laying by the pool for the afternoon. Then we made dinner and she was on her way. It makes me miss having close friends around here. Sad but I'm really glad she came.

Just be yourself. You never know....she may be nervous too!