My Mother

Something really important is happening in my life. My Mom has been so interested in my brother's health and future sister-in-law's health problems that I stupidly thought maybe she would have show a bit of compassion about my problem. I was horribly wrong. She kept going on and on about how ill her sister's husband is, and how ill this person and that person is. She actually told me not to mention my predicament to the family because they are "nervous enough". Aargh. Why did I even try? I knew better, but I so hoped she would care just a little.

Jan

(( January ))



My Mom says (about my health issues) "don't dwell on it."

You deserve better, Jan.

((((((((((((Jan))))))))))))))



Elizabeth

whoooo boy, owwwy, I am sooo sorry. Going through this stuff is hard enough, let alone without the support of our families... especially cold mothers. Dang. IMHO it's a mother's duty to care. But, that's just me. Mine can't either..... ))))) jan ((((
We'll listen and care.

((((Jan)))))) so sorry. My mother never wanted to hear anything about me or my daughter either, but would spend countless time telling me everyone's elses ills as well as her own. Sorry, just don't know why some people are that way. Hugs, Lisa

(((Jan)))

Sorry about the way your Mom treated you....that was just wrong to ask you to sacrifice your own need for reassurance and validation when she was willing to offer the same to other members of your family....gentle hugs..

Eva..

(((((((((((( January ))))))))))))))

I'm sorry, hon!

to feel no support
no healing resort
from those closest to you
is oh so sad makes you feel blue
rest asure that we though are here
to hold your entire creation near
you are as lovable as a kitten
it shows by your words written
when you feel all alone on your road
remember we're here to help you with your load

jan what were you expecting?, come on, you have supported yourself for a time now threw worse than this, you know what you have to do and are doing it, do what is making you happy forget the rest, family or not.

Jan .. Want me to talk to her? To help her understand what being a monther should be like per example how my mom was. I know this has to be hard. Her playing favorites. I see it with my mother in law and how she treat my husband and me against her other kids. Its not right and its not fair. I will do this for you Jan. I dont mind. You just let me know.

Hugz
Bethy

(((((((((((Jan))))))))))) I know the feeling, sweetie. My mom is the same way. When I was inpatient a couple of years ago, my sister (the one who is giving me so much trouble now) called the family to let them know. My mom called the next day and told me that, and this is a quote, "You shouldn't have thoughts like that, dear. God doesn't like that."



She's happy to tell me everything wrong with her, but doesn't care what's going on with me. And it's been that way my whole life. But there is still this little part of me who really wants a nice, loving, nurturing mommy. I bang my head all the time against the brick wall of rediscovering constantly that I'm never going to get it, no matter how old I am. You might be running up against the same thing.

Tell your mom off (at least in your head) and lean on us!! We love you plenty.

Love, Candy

((((((((((((((( Jan )))))))))))))))

(((Jan)))) sounds just like my mom. been there hon...if you need me just pm ok hon? luv you bunches!

((((((((((((((( Friends )))))))))))))))

Thank you each and every one for answering. It won't do any good to talk to her Beth. She never gets it, even when I tell her off myself. Thank you, though. Mellors, you're right, no matter how hard it sounded. I knew better.

Thank you all for your loving kindness and support. It means the world to me.

Hugs,

Jan

Jan, we don't know each other yet but if it is ok, i would like to send you some hugs...
i know exactly where you are coming from, my mother is the same way. it used to really upset me but she won't change her behavior and i just need to live with that. it is sad, i know
keep your head up high and please take care of yourself

Thank you. I had just hoped, but I really did know better...

Jan