[morning8glory]

Today I got call number 5 from my mother and I am not picking up the phone.
Her game now is my daughter will give in and pick up the phone. I can make her do it.
You think she would just stop calling.
I called her the last time we talked around March 22 and the conversation left me up set and empty.
I told her as I hung up that I made a mistake in calling her.
I wrote her that sweet letter instead of the mean one but it has not been taken to the mail box yet.
I am still in the same clothes I put on yesterday afternoon. Shorts and my legs have been cold all morning.
But too lazy to put on long PJ's.
I slept in these shorts last night.
My car won't be done now untill Monday so no need to hurry up to get dressed just to walk to the mail box mail man went by already. I am grounded.
Last phone message on Monday my mom says I would of expected a tiny letter from you by now.
Today it is more agressive she says I have in my hands the last letter you wrote to me on February 20 and "I would like to know how you baked that apple pie in the fireplace." She has no concern for my apple pie and she has no fireplace to bake one in.
Can't she see I can see through her that she thinks if she uses guilt I will pick up the phone and give her another shot to make me feel miserable.
Hearing from me once a month is pretty often.
Every thing is slower for me.
I do not have a weekly shedule its more like a monthly shedule.
I got bed sheets washed today they need put back on bed.
I am going to make strawberry muffins.
I got tons of flour, frozen strawberrys, 1 stick of butter, 2 eggs.
No bread in the house so muffins will take place of bread for weekend.
My husband has been asked to buy chicken again today he has for gotten it on wednesday to buy it. He works in the ajoining building to the chicken storeIf he forgets we have 1 egg left ,4 hot dogs, 3 cans of tuna and 3 packs of country ham.
Last night I thought long and hard what to have for supper and always suprise my self. No recipe but a real southern meal.
I had part of a package of chicken. 1\3 of it was cooked up in a pack of Mr Grass's noodle soup for lunch.
I had one can of cream of chicken soup left and I made chicken with gravy and dumplings.
I got hooked by watching the very last Bachelor show.
lifes little problems.
Morning8Glory

[curlyq]

I understand your frustration with the situation. When I don't want to talk to anyone I turn off the answering function on the machine. It will then just tell them to call back. I wonder if you have that on yours? But then you might miss other calls. You could just call those you wish to talk to, too.

I know what it feels like to feel the guilt from not doing what our mother's want us to. They seem to know what to say and how to say it and then the guilt sets in, no? I wonder if they somehow program us?!

I think standing firm for your needs is important. I think mother's naturally try to control us, too, unless they learn not to. No offense intended here-just seems that way to me. It was necessary for the mother to control the child but not the adult. I had to just break out of the grips and be my own person and do what I felt is right for me. It takes time and therapy helps. I also spent time venting anger about it and other stuff that left me feeling frustrated. It helped it subside some. I now just try to be me and live my life as I need to.

Mother/daugher relationships are very hard! I don't know anyone who has perfected them yet. Take care. CQ

-------------
<font color=blue>"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." Anatole France</font color=blue>

[overcome]

You poor thing. Instilling guilt for absolutely no reason in a person is a form of mental abuse. Tell your mother you love her, and ask her why she wants to hurt you so much by making you feel bad about who you are? Turn the tables on her. You have done nothing wrong!!!