[hrmm]

Hello,

Well where do i start. I met this person on the net 4 yrs ago. We became really good friends and just last month decided to meet. We met and hit it off great. We got very "close" that weekend. One big problem tho, she is living with someone.

Well after she went back home the following week we talked alot how great a time we had together. We constantly called each other and told each other how much we miss each other. It got to the point where she decide to come live with me. We planned everything and arranged the move for her to come here. Two days before she was to come she canceled. The reason she gives me is the she is having problems not remembering her past, she is only 20. She tells me she is tired of running from place to place just because she is reminded of it and she is also tired of crying over something she doesnt even know about. She also say with new relationships they just make her forget her problems for a little while but when she realizes they are still there, and the other person knows something is wrong, and they try to help her, she runs. She says she doesnt run because they try to help her, but because she is constantly reminded of the problem by the other person.

Im trying to be supportive about this but i dont even know what to do. I know this wasnt some sort of *BS* excuse because she had talked to me about this problem long before we ever decide to meet. Now i am also hurting because of all this. She tells me I am her closest friend and she is very sorry about what has happened. In 3 weeks she is suppose to come visit me again. I dont know if it is the right thing to do but i also dont think i can say no to her coming. Please if you can, can you recommend anything i can do. Also if you can recommend a book, a website anything so that i can help her with her problem.

Thx you

[curlyq]

I really believe that your friend needs to get professional help. Then she can get a diagnosis by explaining what she is troubled with. This is the best thing I can recommend. She is young and has the rest of her life ahead of her. She needs to get help now so that she can get a grip on her issues and have a better life. I think you can encourage her to get help. There are many low cost places and even free ones to get help in some cities. I don't know if she has insurance or not but looking into counseling agencies would be a good idea. I think if you tell her that if she works on this she has a good chance of things getting better some time in the future. It's best to get the help soon, too. She is suffering and needs to get help, again.

I'm also sorry for what you are going through as a result of this. But try to remember she has some serious problems and needs help and understanding to get her life together. She needs good support, too.

If you cannot get her to get help and feel very upset a lot about this you, too, might want to consult a counselor on the things you can do to get relief for yourself and to possibly help her situation, too. I hope this helps. Please keep us updated.

Oh,yes, welcome to the forums. Hope you will find what you need here and come back soon. CQ

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<font color=blue>"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." Anatole France</font color=blue>

[hrmm]

Thx for your post. This post was mostly to be able to find someway to help her but your reply has reminded me of my own problems. You see i suffer from depression. Months back i was seeing doctors and taking prozac to "fix me". Well unfortunately i had lost my job and out the window went my benefits, my doctors and my meds. I fear i feeling like im starting to slip again. This has really got me down and im totally confused about everything. Ive always been the type of person to help someone else before my self no matter what the cost. I know life isnt easy but its just a bit more harder to deal with when ur feeling down.

Thx again for caring

[curlyq]

Where I live there is a Free Clinic with counselors and a psychiatrist. You might want to find out if there is such a type of clinic in your area. Try calling a social service agency perhaps and they can point you to free help most likely. Hope you will get the help you need and be on your way to better days! Take care and keep posting, okay? CQ

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<font color=blue>"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." Anatole France</font color=blue>