I just turned 35, and am now officially middle-aged, so I think this is why I am having thoughts about my potential future. And it is looking a little grim.

For all my 35 years, I have been in one short and dysfunctional relationship. The problem is I really want another one right now and I am despairing of ever getting there.

There are a few stumbling blocks.

1. Low sex drive due to non-psych medications I was on last year. I am thinking of seeing the doctor about this, but I haven't had an opportunity just yet.

2. No job. In fact I have never really had a job, it's always been temporary work, or I've been self-employed. I didn't make any money in the self-employed stuff.

3. Social anxiety disorder. I would describe it as severe/chronic. I am going to start some major therapy soon, and it will be very intensive, so I think I may be able to sort some of this out in there.

4. Depression. I often don't feel like I want to do anything. I don't get out. I don't have hobbies. I have very few clothes.

So basically I am after a woman who doesn't mind that I might never become gainfully employed, and that I am socially inhibited and don't really want to have sex that much.

It's depressing because I feel otherwise normal. I'm an average looking person of average intelligence. I just have a few massive problems that have completely isolated me .

Basically just want to be like 'everyone else'. So to speak.

Thoughts?

[kaliope]

I just turned 50, so does that make me old? hehe

the question would be what are you hoping to get out of a relationship? are you hoping it will make you a happier person? to have a healthy relationship, you have to go into it healthy with a healthy partner, otherwise you are just going to have more dysfunction and life will be more challenging and miserable. and who wants that?

I don't think things like a job and clothes are barriers to a good relationship. lots of people can look past that. even a low sex drive can be worked thru. but social anxiety and depression can put strain on a relationship.

Take time to work on you and get yourself in a really good place independently. Find your happiness and the relationship will follow.

[davmid]

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

.Basically just want to be like 'everyone else'. So to speak.

Thoughts?

My thoughts are that most people aren't looking for someone who is just like everyone else....