[snow in july]

I’m confuse, would really like some feed back…..Husband hotel mix up?

I was wondering if anyone out there might have had this happened to them?

A little history leading up to what happened is my husband drives quite a long way to work everyday however the distance is consistent and he uses the same amount of gas and the mileage is the same every week.
All of a sudden this changed, he started to gas the car more and more this concerned me and I decided to start keeping a record of the mileage for what ever reason it just didn’t make since to me that he all of a sudden needed more and more gas than he use to need.
Well besides that there have been other changes going on for example I was driving the car and noticed that there is some sort of shiny glittery stuff all over the dashboard and seats and also on his clothes?
When I asked him about he just said it must have come from work. That would be fine except its all over the passengers side and the drivers side of the car?
That combined with the gas started to make me wonder what is going on?
I also use to call him when ever I wanted to and now he has asked me not to call him he will call me its more convenient for him. I remembered that I had called him one morning unexpectedly and while I was talking with him all of a sudden I hear another cell phone ringing in the back ground. When I asked him what that was and where he was he just said oh, I don’t know I don’t hear anything. I just thought perhaps it was static or something but it went something like this "I don’t take no prisoners I’m a shooter"?
Could that even be a ring tone? I then hear hello.
And now our sex life has changed drastically also he doesn’t seem to have any more stamina left and when he does ejaculate there isn’t anything there just a tiny bit nothing like before. He says oh, its just my age. This seems to only be happening during the week though so what gives there? During the weekends its like it usually is sometimes we can be intimate 3 times a day? It just doesn’t make sense unless this is something most men have? Maybe it is common and I just don’t understand a mans body?
The question that has really stumped me is this one.
Last week he came home much later than he usually does and I didn’t pay attention to him telling me not to contact him at work and thought I would just chat with him after lunch.
I sent him a chat and he wasn’t there? I just thought he was out for a while but he never returned my chat. I noticed after a little while that he was no longer on line and I thought he will be home in 30min or so but he never came home. Finally after 3hours I decided he must have gone someplace?
I had checked the mileage that morning and thought I will make sure to check it when he gets home. When he got home I asked him where he was he said what’s the big deal I went to my brothers to get the mail. Okay but why didn’t you let me know or just tell me you would be late. He said from now on I’m not late unless its more than1.5hours later than quitting time. (he can come and go as he pleases at his job) So I said fine and we got into a big fight about it.
It just felt weird and I felt really bad about it most of the evening. He of course made it up to me by buying me a beautiful hair barrette and taking me out on a wonderful trip to a nice hotel and getaway? It was very expensive and I didn’t really understand why we would use money we wanted to fix the house up with just to spend it at a fancy hotel?
But we did.
About the mileage, It was 90miles more than it should have been. I tried to figurer out all kinds of scenarios as to where he might have gone it was a very specific amount and we live in a very rule area so driving for us is very common. But driving an extra 90miles is really unusual. I checked the GPS in the car and noticed that some of it had been erased but there was a place on it that looked odd and I knew about where that was so I checked the mileage and seen that it was close but there was still about 4miles difference so I wasn’t sure about it. I asked my sister in-law where she thought he might go if he went to that town? she said there is a hotel and resort there check that out. I ran the mileage to the hotel and resort and it was 89.9miles almost exact what I had. Wow I thought maybe that’s the place.
Sounds like a no brainer right? Wrong.

Here is my problem and I would like to know what some of you might think happened.

I call the hotel to ask for a receipt. I said hi my husband and I stayed at your hotel last week sometime and I’m not sure what day It may have been tue. or wend I think ?
The clerk said what was the name. I gave her his name she said oh he checked in on Tuesday. I said thank you and then I asked her if she seen his name there and she said yes.
I asked if she could please send me a receipt and she said she didn’t have access to the paper work that the manager would have to do that.
I call the manager back and she asked me what day that we stayed and I told her and she said they could email me and took my email which is my name.
She said that could be done the next morning I said thank you no problem.
I then made a mistake or, something because I said what room nr was that again?
I couldnt remember.
She asked, was it one or two beds... I guessed then because I had no clue. She said was it at the top or the bottom or at the end? I just didn’t know, she sort of laughed and said you know what, I don’t see your name anywhere on here how did you pay? I said with cash she said I don’t think I have you anywhere your name isn’t Pam is it? I said no. and then hung up?
Help what to think?
Thanks I would really appreciate any feed back.

[jadzea]

Well, Snow, this does not sound good. My husband has always been one to get in the car at the drop of a hat and go. He doesn't always tell me he is going, he rarely knows where he will end up or when he will be home. When he gets home he tells me where he went, what he saw, and often brings me a little present. If he came home very late and drove and extra 90 miles in one day it would not phase me a bit. But, this is unusual behavior for your husband. It also seems a little strange that he does not want you to call him anymore. I hate to say it but I would be suspicious. I would confront him and point blank ask him what he is up to. You may not like the answer but at least you will know where he stands. Good luck and let us know what happens.

[heyhey.im.j]

Well, I have to be honest here, your inclinations are probably right
I will openly admit that I have in fact cheated on my ex (no, I'm not proud to admit that, but honest)
So that being said, I can recognize the signs. The glitter, the restricted phone times, peculiar ringtone in the background followed by an answer, the deleted history on gps, the fact that your husband was in fact at a hotel the exact distance as calculated. If hotel stays aren't typical of his job requirements, then why was he there.
I don't know what he does for a living, but would that be the type of place you'd find a woman wearing glitter. Can you access his phone, does he now lock it, did he always. He's being secretive and slightly defensive, if he didn't typically buy random gifts for you then that's more than likely his guilty conscience talking, he may think you're catching his game a little by asking questions that are related and pinpoint what he is doing. So in his head, he probably thinks you know something's up and trying to cover tracks and "winning" your confidence back with a gift, that could also be an excuse for extra mileage if he thinks you're checking on that. And the other obvious sign is the lack of ejaculate, if it's the same as it "normally' was/is when he hasn't "disappeared" then the age excuse is bull$#!t as well.
If you'd like, feel free to send me a PM. If there's more details you may want help "ironing out" I may be able to help you with that.
This doesn't mean your marriage is over, I've been the mischievous one in a relationship and I can say without a doubt, it's not something I'd do again. I lost everything, and sometimes a wake-up call is all he may need to straighten out.

[High Treason]

What you write here seems pretty convincing that he is doing something he doesn't want you to know about, and it could likely be sexual. Of course, there are two sides to every story and we haven't heard his.

[Perna]

I would tell him you have been spying on him and the mileage, hotel conversation, glitter, sex, and you all's other arguments do not add up, is there anything he'd like to tell you before you contact your lawyer?

[~Christina]

I agree with Perna. You have done enough private investigation.

Good luck

[High Treason]

I completely disagree that the appropriate thing is to get a lawyer. People trying to solve their problems with lawyers is a big part of what's wrong with this society. But, do confront him about it.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by High Treason

I completely disagree that the appropriate thing is to get a lawyer. People trying to solve their problems with lawyers is a big part of what's wrong with this society. But, do confront him about it.

I can see the general direction of your thought, but what Perna recommended was not an attempt to solve any kind of problems.