[davmid]

No matter what the consequences, I'm going to tell her exactly what my feelings and thoughts are. I didn't do this first time around and it was a disastrous. If I am ever to believe in myself and the feelings I have for another, this is what I must do.

[kaliope]

I wish you luck. honesty is the best policy. try framing your feelings using an I feel statement....I feel____when_____because____and what I would like is____. It is a way of stating our feelings and needs in a less threatening manner. Try to leave the word "you" out of the statement because that brings on defensiveness. Good luck.

[barx]

You're going to tell your wife how much you love her and how you want her back? In a situation like this, be prepared that it may not be reciprocated right away or at all. However, put it out there and see what happens. At least you can be ok with yourself in knowing that you did all you can do.

[davmid]

Originally Posted by barx

In a situation like this, be prepared that it may not be reciprocated right away or at all.

I'm not expecting to get her back. In the past I think I spent too much time suppressing my true feelings in an attempt to please here. I gave up too much of myself.

There doesn't seem to be anger between us now and she has expressed that she really wants us to share the strong friendship that always existed. I want that too but I'm struggling with her being in a new relationship so quickly.

I simply want to make the best attempt I can at being as honest and open as I always should have been. No matter what the outcome. I have no idea what the future holds for us, but we still share a lot and I'd like our interactions to be pleasant rather than stressful.

We have two teenagers in high school who will be graduating in a couple of years and going off to college, maybe someday getting married, having our grandchildren.... I'd like these events to be enjoyed by both of us even though I won't be experiencing them the way I always imagined.

[barx]

I think that is great. Being honest with her about your feelings is a good way to respect yourself. Maybe by being honest and getting past the desire to please her, at all cost, maybe you can finally find yourself again and be happy...