Hello Again

I know I've already posted my intro. and I'm sorry for putting up another thing.
But I was wondering.
My friend says my Dad is emotionally abusing me, but my Mum says it's just something he's got used to doing so I shouldn't be bothered.
I need help to figure out which to believe.
When he's in a bad mood he shouts at me, chucks things at me (doesn't actually want to hit me, just through them near me) and calls me things like: pathetic, a joke, a disgrace, brat, prat, ****** and a couple of times a ****.
But when he's in a good mood he's great fun.
But we have a strained relationship and I can't remember the last time he hugged me. Also, when he found out I was self-harming he shouted at me for worrying Mum (although Mum shouted at me too about the families reputation and how it was a stupid thing to do).
I was just hoping for some advice on this, what I should think and do.
Thanks for listening,
KV

Hello Kalavara. The question is how do you feel when these things happen? If it makes you feel bad then talk to your father about it. If it doesn't then tell your friend to mind her own business and stop trying to stir up trouble.

What is "normal" for one person isn't normal for another. I grew up in a home where the more right you were the louder you were. We're yellers! There is no hostility involved, but strangers do not know that. My son and I used to work together. When he would get stressed or upset, he would yell to me (as opposed to at me). I would do the same. One co-worker took me aside and said "I really hate it when you and your son are fighting." Fighting? Who's fighting? He didn't believe me, so he approached my son and asked "don't you hate it when your mom's yelling at you?" He asked "when did she yell at me?"

While I would never call one of my children pathetic, we do have a little dig of our own. It isn't meant to be insulting, but others may take it as such. When someone does something stupid in our house, the response is: you're so pretty (meaning good thing that you have your looks to fall back on). Turns out that some people find that offensive.

As I mentioned, I'm a yeller. Particularly when I'm scared. Perhaps your father was feeling scared and helpless when confronted with the fact that you self harm.

So my advice to you is figure out how you feel about it. You're feelings are valid. Talk to your father.