[Helpneedednow]

Hello. I am happy I found this forum hoping it can help me because I don't
Know what else I can do. I got married in September and things are getting worse. My husband has a marijuana problem. He has cut back but when he starts smoking its hard for him to stop again. Besides this matter when he smokes he is so inconsiderate and disrespectful. He will call me names in public for really silly reasons. If I tell him I am upset about something I told him and he forgot he gets angry starts screaming and punching cabinets or throwing food. Also he will eat everything he can find and does not save me anything. It really has been getting to me where I cry everyday. When I talk rationally with him about this he doesn't care and says I'm the crazy one. I don't know how much more of this I can take. Today I locked him out for one hour because of how fed up I am with him. He says he loves me but I don't even believe him anymore. Can someone please help me as guide me in the right direction.

[River11]

Hi ...now, and welcome.

What an awful situation. This is really terrible treatment and doesn't sound like much real relationship going on. Was he like this much before you married? Are there any positives in his relating to you? Does he try to get any help with his problem/s?

[healingme4me]

It's probably not the mj, creating these behavioural problems, with him. Sounds like you may want to research safety planning, with domestic violence programs. Anytime, furniture or walls are being punched and destroyed, it's a display of intimidating aggressive behavior. And, the part about calling you the crazy one, is symptomatic of verbal abuse in your marriage.

[Yoda]

I agree it isn't the marijuana. I've smoked lots and so have friends/BFs and that doesn't cause people to be mean. Does he drink alcohol? Any chance he is doing drugs besides the marijuana. I had a BF turn violent and mean when he started using meth but he never did the meth in my presence so it was a long time until I found out from one of his friends that he was using the meth.

Either way you deserve to be respected and he isn't respecting you at all. I can't say what direction to go with your marriage or how long to wait to set an ultimatum but maybe you could talk to a therapist that might help you.

Here is something that describes abuse beyond just the physical kind. Do you see these in your relationship?