[Iamwho]

Husband is paying a neighbor to clean up yard. He is a convict on parole and alcoholic drug abuser. Husband is sober alcoholic. He keeps asking my husband for more and more favors. Now my husband is giving the drunk man a ride to town for what? So worried and how do I get this person out of our lives?

Simply establish your boundaries. He'll keep testing those boundaries. It's his nature. If you hold your ground, he'll either back off or find a more willing target.

[Open Eyes]

(((((((((Iamwho)))))))))

Oh I am so sorry, your husband should never have invited him into your lives to begin with. If this guy is an active alcoholic and drug abuser you need to shut him off because he will manipulate you and your husband more and more. These people seem nice but they are trouble and he is putting you and your husband on his patsy list. If your husband didn't take him into town to drop him off at an AA meeting than no rides any more.

I am all for rehabilitation but that should be done by professionals. And if this man is still drinking and abusing he will probably do other things too. Your husband is probably a nice man and he will be used. You have to sit him down and have a talk with him and tell him to let go of being responsible for this man. Hiring someone to do work is one thing but he is probably getting a ride to town to buy some alcohol or whatever with the money you and yours paid him. And you better lock your doors all the time now. If someone has a drug habit and no money, they wont care what way they support their habit.

You have to break contact. If the man is trying to change his ways good for him, but you cant be set up to be a victim. My husband has a good heart too and I finally got tired of other men calling here in the middle of the night because they couldn't stick with the AA program. Hearing a drunk on the other end of the phone demanding my husband get him out of where he was stuck due to drinking was it for me.

I hope you can get your husband to lay the boundary line firmly.

Open Eyes

[Iamwho]

Thanks Open Eyes. He is taking him to a girlfriends? I will try to talk to my husband and hope he can see this. I have had such a bad feeling about this guy but husband thinks the guy is a good guy. This is even after the guy, about a year ago, took our car, denied it, then said he thought it was his. He drove it through a fence. The guys father paid for it to keep him out of jail (was on probation). The guy went jail again and now is back. Hope my husband will come to his senses before it is to late.

[Open Eyes]

Yes, you need to wake up and relize that this person is not going to add any safe feelings in your atmosphere, no matter how well he does the lawn work.

Your husband has to understand that other people are not necessarily kind hearted like him. It is hard to understand that if you are a kind hearted person, but you do have to recognise that your kindness will be someones invitation to take and the other person just wont consider your husbands kind acts. Sounds like you have a nice husband, you better take the bull by the horns and protect him and yourself.

Open Eyes

[Iamwho]

Here is a belated update.
The severe stress this man has caused me has been over for awhile now.
He was killed by a hit and run driver while walking to or from his girlfriends house.
When they found his phone he had called us twice before or after being hit.
There were no messages on our phone though.