[EffBee]

My mom and I have been through alot, and I really do love her, and she loves me. Neither of my parents ever tell me they love me, and it's been like that for a very long time. No one in my family says it to each other its not just me. Last night I was thinking about how my mom wont be around forever, and I sent her an email and basically told her I love her. I want to heat this from my parents. Even now I am feeling emotional just thinking about it. It seems like most people tell their parents and their parents to them that they love each other all the time, like its a reflex. I haven't heard it since i was a little kid and i wonder sometimes why it stopped..

I am terrified to see the email she writes back. I don't know what it will say but I'm scare to read it. I know my mom loves me, but I don't know what will happen if I hear it from her. Why am I making such a big deal out of this? I think this is a big problem for me! I almost regret sending it because I don't know how to deal with the positivity it could hold.

[RoseBee]

Originally Posted by EffBee

I am terrified to see the email she writes back. I don't know what it will say but I'm scare to read it. I know my mom loves me, but I don't know what will happen if I hear it from her. Why am I making such a big deal out of this? I think this is a big problem for me! I almost regret sending it because I don't know how to deal with the positivity it could hold.

Deep down you may believe she doesn't love you or you did something wrong. My male parental unit (not my dad...but I thought he was for years...long story...so we go with male parental unit) showed me affection once...once in 26 years. The night he left my mom he told me he loved me. I remember saying thank you and making a joke about bacon. I also remember fearing how to respond and what that would do to our relationship. What I learned is that he just didn't know how to tell me or show me because I receive love differently than he gave it. I like the words. He showed it by action: Working hard, making sure I had what I needed, etc.

Maybe she thought you were older and didn't need the vocal affirmation but could see her actions?

Some families just don't say it - my parent's never say it (when I was in touch that is!). I can remember saying to them as I was leaving after a visit that I loved them and they just laughed, blushed and looked really awkward! So I started taking delight in it, and told them a few more times, just to see the stiff upper lip British reaction. It used to upset my big brother that they were never affectionate, no saying they loved/proud of us, or ever just want to give us kids a hug but he accepted it in the end.

My advice? Let it go. You know you love them, you know they love you back, words do not need to be said (although it's always nice to hear). Don't worry about the email - the best thing of having a mum who loves you like yours does is that she will most probably just melt when she reads it and you'll make her feel good, proud of her daugher and give her a real lift. And... why is it a problem? You just sound like you're a nice kind, gentle person. Like who you are, and perhaps just accept that not everyone is like you - doesn't mean that you're doing anything wrong.

Hugs.