want to date bipolar girl, please advice..

Met a girl online last week. She is 31, 5 years older than me, I'm 26.

I am very inexperienced in relationships, never been in any kind of relationship before, but I am in a good place in life right now, and am looking for and ready for a serious relationship. My main issues have been serious anxiety disorders all my life, including social anxiety, where I have a difficult time interacting. But I have made vast improvement in the last couple years, and I feel I have a strong understanding of what it means to not be in control of your emotions and to be forced to act irrationally

I am kind of odd in this way, and feel like my conversational ability matches well with those I've known with bipolar. I easily follow the constant jumping of topics, and create my own meaning out of some of the craziness which is very special to me.

I met this girl online, and have been on one date. and she told me she had bipolar. She told me she takes at least 2 meds for it. However, She expressed herself to me as if she is already in love with me as soon as we met; she was very physical, could not keep her hands off me, kissing me on the lips within 5 minutes of meeting.

Since we went out, she says we are boyfriend and girlfriend, she already tells me she wants to move in with me in time, and that she believes we will get married. She sends me messages, calls, and texts around the clock. Quite over the top, and I don't know the best way to respond, and how to handle her expression towards me in a positive relationship building way. I really want to get to know this girl as a person, and understand her the best I can, and move toward a long term relationship and see what happens.

She lives with family, works part-time, doesn't seem to have any friends or social circle outside of family.

Is this relationship possible??, I am willing to assume the risks, and make a serious go at it, how do I proceed?, I know very little about bipolar, so what do I do when she goes into a depression? How difficult is this going to be?

Bipolar what I've found anyway is we fall fast. Care deeply and can be a roller coaster for the person we are dating. Our moods can bounce from extreme sadness where we should know that you care about us but it feels like no one would give thoughts if we just vanished off the face of the earth. I'm not sure about everyone else but my depressions aren't always the same. Some can be literally earth shattering for me where I'm at my lowest and cut ties with people because I feel like it would just be better that way no one would have to worry other times it's me just feeling lonely. Just ask her what you can do for her when she gets into a depression. Does she have manic or hypomanic? You need to clarify with her what your course of action should be for if and when she has an episode. I can't stress that enough. My ex would send me into worse states by saying the wrong thing or treating me poorly. So just keep your ears open and your eyes open because it's a hard relationship to be in but rewarding.

Hi and welcome to psych central. we have a bipolar forum you can post in as well. you will receive lots of support here. bipolar is different for everybody. she is going to know herself best so as the above poster stated, it is best to talk to her about her needs. but it already seems that the relationship is complicated. she has dove in quick. you can expect the relationship to be emotionally intense. are you up for that?

I don't have experience with bipolar but do when it comes to dating and she could just be that "clingy" type, regardless of mental illness. The way she's acting is just how some women deal with dating and it's not healthy for either person.most men run! Is she expressing that it's the bipolar talking and not indicative of how she typically dates?
I wish you luck!

I also do not see anything bipolar in her behavior. She is just being weird. Unless she is severely manic, but she does not seem to be.

Being obsessed like that isnt really being bipolar unless, like someone else said, shes really manic, but I dont really get like that when im manic. She just sounds clingy. I think the overall way you describe her is way more her personality showing than her being bipolar. If you want to be in a relationship with her, id say to go ahead and try it out.

...someone being so intensely into me is often a sign, for me anyway, that they are a passionate and intense person. There is absolutely nothing wrong with either of those things.
I have been told I am both, actually.

However, I am also 31 (will be on the eleventh). At 31, I really feel you should be able to reign that in some what, know when to dial it down, protect yourself, protect your heart.

There is a huge difference between wearing one's heart on one's sleeve and just being a super impulsive, clingy person who needs instant elevated reciprocation.

And while maybe there could be a little bit of mood fluctuation, intensity, some variations in how the relationship functions as a whole due to your individual mental issues or whatnot... on the surface, it's not that different, and I would call her behavior odd and a little suspect.

Frankly I would proceed slowly, with caution, and keep the exit in sight for at least the next few dates?

Though, not to put too fine a point on it, but it's sort of necessary... You say you don't have much experience with relationships. So, in the interest of really just exploring this whole thing for your benefit, OP [and obviously you are free to opt out at any time]… what is so great about this woman?

I'm not insinuating there isn't anything great.

But, you didn't actually mention anything specifically and uniquely fantastic about this person.

She likes you, kissed you almost immediately, claimed you as her own... is a bit manic pixie dream girl, maybe.

You are young and if you haven't dated a lot, you might not know that there are a lot of people who fit this general description who will not demand ultimate fidelity right out of the gate.

I'm not suggesting extreme promiscuity, and personally I'm not all that down with this new trend of "seeing someone" for like years but never establishing anything....
But in this given situation- I mean, you want to go one on one with some one you just met and don't know?

I don't know.
I don't know you. I don't know her.

Just some things to think about maybe? Ultimately it is completely about what works for you, obviously. Just thought you might want to turn some things over in your head.

Be well.
Josie.

Proceed with caution and don't rush into it - if she truly cares about you, she will accept that the relationship needs to deepen and progress at a pace acceptable to both of you...not just her personal timetable.

Maybe her mood is towards a manic state, maybe not. She may have a clingy personality that has nothing to do with bipolar disorder. I have bipolar disorder and I have never jumped into a relationship in this way - we are all different, though, bipolar or not.

My impression is that she sounds like a bit of a "handful" in a not good way - but if you are into her, give it a shot but don't let her control the pace of the relationship. A relationship takes two and it's not fair to either of you, in the long run, if she is diving in head first and you aren't sure or "ready."

Best of luck.