[Bamboo_RedPanda]

That's what I'm starting to ask myself. Am I unloveable? Am I supposed to spend my entire life alone?

I say this because I can never get past two dates with someone before we either drift off because we're not actually that interested in each other, or I end up scaring them off. Since it's me that keeps having these issues, then I must be the one with the problem. I fear I may be too intense............ not intentionally of course, I just like putting my all into it and I like to get to know the person, but I guess that puts them off.

At this point I'm just getting tired of trying and always failing. I know I'm only 21, but I haven't even had my first kiss and I personally think that's lame.

So maybe you all can help me determine what I'm doing wrong, or if I'm supposed to be alone the rest of my life.

Ask whatever you'd like, I don't mind.

[manwithnofriends]

It's not that you're unlovable, it's that you don't love yourself. If you don't love yourself, you'll always be seeking someone's approval (if that someone dumps you, you beat yourself up over it). Let me quote from a user from another site:

Please surround yourself with people who build you up, who make you feel wonderful, who truly support you. Ask your inner self, it will tell you who those people are. If you cannot hear an inner voice, it is highest time to stop suppressing it, be the best friend to your ‘little me’. If I may suggest, I spend couple of hours every week to talk on paper to my inner self. Ask questions like: (your name), what do you truly think about this ? And write everything your souls tells you, even if it is the darkest thought. I promise, you will be amazed how more confident you will be after some time, when you know you are your best friend, when you give yourself time to listen to yourself, so you will not have to ask everyone around what they think. When you are the best person to be your friend you are no longer afraid of being lonely, because you are enough. You will no longer be desperate to be with someone because of fear, but because you choose to.

[healingme4me]

Well, for starters, Love your UserName!! Aren't Red Pandas, the most adorable creatures?

I agree with the quote "when you are the best person to be your friend, you are not longer afraid of being lonely, because you are enough. You will no longer be desperate to be with someone because of fear, but because you choose to."

I feel, it doesn't matter what age bracket one falls into, the dating world is tough. There's nothing wrong with perhaps being too 'intense.' I've been told, I can be intimidating, as a woman. Not in the aggressive sense, but because I am articulate and intelligent and wonderful and beautiful. Not a bad quality to have, eh?

However, that intimidating effect, has kept, many a man, at bay and away from me, throughout the years. Why is that, because there's the people you date and then there's the people you marry. And sometimes, it's intimidating to be around someone who may challenge one's sense of self.

It's not lame, to not have had your first kiss, yet.

While, you are in between relationships, what are your plans to solidify your likes and desires? Are you focusing on a career? Developing any hobbies? Strengthening who you are and what defines your own sense of integrity?

Takes time, to meet that special someone. In the meantime, what is meant about the difference between getting involved over fear and choice. When one gets involved out of fear of being lonely, it's a vulnerable time, where a person can become involved with someone that can take them on an emotional roller coaster ride or become abusive, etc. That's why, it's important to solidify who you are before not knowing the difference. Don't want to get in over your head, is the point of that one, in my opinion. And it speaks well, to my own personal experience.

[A Red Panda]

No one's unloveable!

You're just having bad luck in meeting the decent sort of people who are willing to put in any effort. And you say you're 21? A lot of 21 year olds don't seem to want actual relationships.. so maybe you're just having the unfortunate luck of meeting lots who are still sorta in a party-mode?

Just work on loving yourself first, and then keep putting yourself out there. One of these days you'll stumble on the right kind of person for you!

[Perna]

Originally Posted by Bamboo_RedPanda

I say this because I can never get past two dates with someone before we either drift off because we're not actually that interested in each other

It takes two to be interested in each other; if neither of you are interested in the relationship or you are not interested in the other or she in you, etc. It can take a lot of meeting and greeting to make a good friend, or to meet the person you would like to spend the rest of your life with?

[corymccoy]

Originally Posted by manwithnofriends

It's not that you're unlovable, it's that you don't love yourself. If you don't love yourself, you'll always be seeking someone's approval (if that someone dumps you, you beat yourself up over it). Let me quote from a user from another site:

This is the absolute truth. I had been in the same boat most of my life really. I had allowed my depression to take over and became insanely argumentative, mean and was just a nightmare to be around. I couldn't connect with anyone in anyway. When I finally realized what was the issue and took the right precautions to fix my attitude and take control of myself and truly learned to love myself, the first real relationship I found myself in (the one I am still currently in) has been one of the greatest things to ever happen to me. Self love is important in finding any other kind of love.