[Jenn1fer82]

I've realized that where my friend Mary and I are in our lives right now, we've grown apart. We simply are at different parts of our lives. We're 24 and been friends since middle school. We've lost touch throughout the years, been in fights and at the end of it all we could still share a good laugh.

Now realizing that we are at different parts in our life, it is disappointing that I don't have the same interest as her's. She's still at the point in her life to go to the bars, drink and hang out in the big crowd. This is something that she's recently got back into for the last 4-6 months now. Before that she was mellow and it was more because she was in a relationship.

Don't get me wrong, I dont judge her in anyway because of the choices she's made but I simply don't have any interest in any of it. I'm not a drinker or a smoker. OH my goodness she's a chronic chain smoker. I seriously would get choked up if I didn't move away from her while she smokes.

Right now my mind is set on school and my health. I've recently been diagnoised with a seizure disorder and it has been managable. There are simply good days and then the BAD days.
I don't mind having a good night out but not the way she's doing it.

I've actually now thought about just wanting to avoid her phone calls. When she calls me and thats about twice a week, she's always tell me how she's been out drinking for the last few days with her other friends. She would call me 12-2pm, just waking up and tell me how she came home 5am because she was out drinking. She knows better then to invite me over when all they're going to do is drink because I'll be the only one sitting on the sofa watching tv with green tea. LoL!!!

Its sad to say but I think her way of going out now, compared to how it was before is her way of dealing with her lonliness. With the way she's dealing with it, I simply can't be there for her. She's now drinking more often and smoking WAY too much.

Where I'm at in my life, even though it may be hard and lonely but I'm trying to take better care of myself, especially with the seizure disorder. Where as for my friend Mary, she's acting out her circumstances with drinking, smoking and all else that comes with it. Its sad that she calls me to tell me all she's been up as though it would impress me.

Its sad that I might have to distance myself from her.

[Rhapsody]

((((((( HUGS )))))))

I understand for my best friend and I of 23 years started to drift in different ways and morals and it greatly effected our relationship to the point that we no longer talk and she has moved away.... and while we miss each other I think it was just meant to happen.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[drunksunflower]

Maybe she's having FUN.

God knows my friends and I did ... we LIVED and are still LIVING our 20s ...

It's so much fun to study, work, travel, drink, get wasted, have late nights ...

Your friend sounds like she is making the MOST of her life ... you only live once ... as long as you are forward focused enough to achieve, then balancing the working life with partying is completely acceptable.

I am 28 and i have my PhD. but i spent years partying - drinking and drugs - and i do not regret a second of it. i know that when i have children i'll be such a great mother because i will understand what they are doing ... i'll probably have done much worse!

your friend deserves some respect for enjoying herself in the prime of her life. your post sounds like you are a little jealous - i understand you have a lot to deal with, but let others have fun if you don't feel comfortable then hang out with people who you DO feel good being around.

good luck

[alisandria]

Hi Jenn,

Sounds like you have matured a bit faster than your friend, and taking your personal health more seriously. There comes a time in all of our lives that we have a tendency to outgrow all behaviors, most people do by your age. Some, it lingers a little longer for, and then there are some that it becomes a habitual lifestyle, more like an addiction.

I think you are doing the right thing, and I understand how you feel. My daughter is 20, and already growing tired of the antics of some of her friends-their party behavior. It's different when you are the one looking in from the outside, and not part of it. All they seem to care about it drinking and drugs-and they are having fun, but look foolish, and act foolishly. How fun is it to be so drunk they are vomitting? or hooking up with guys? putting themselves in danger? They love their "party" life though.

I'm glad my daughter's stint with partying was a short one, and that she never did anything more than alcohol (I wasn't all that happy with it, but...) and that she can see reality. Stay strong hun, there are more people out there that chose a healthy life!!!

hugs, Lisa

[Jenn1fer82]

Thanks Lisa for sharing and helping me have a positive atitude. There are times that I do feel alone, as though I'm the only one who wants to distance myself from that lifestyle. There's nothing wrong with the choices that my friend have made, I do hope she's taking care of herself . Yes you are right when you say that I am putting my heath first. I feel as thought I'm having to start over and find a couple of new friends who does have the same interest as mine, and well its a little akward to do I suppose. Meeting causal friends to talk about class is simply but approaching people about, lets go see a movie or having lunch is another thing. Do you understand what I mean?

[hillbunnyb]

Life's cycles. Darn sometimes, huh? Friendships are such live beings on their own. Sometimes they cycle back around, sometimes they don't. Hard, sad. I'm glad you are consciously taking care of yourself for yourself. ))))))) ) jenn ((((((( (

[almostangela]

Life is a long journey. You can drift for a while and return later. There is no need for absolutes. Last week I stopped in on a friend what I hadn't seen in 30 years. We are both road weary but the core of who we are is the same and we took off right where we parted. She will always be your friend.

[FaithisAlive]

My friend and I have been friends for 28 years... having seperated from each other more than once, one time for as long as three years because of a disagreement.We are stronger for it.

Its tough but people change and grow past each other.. and sometimes they do find themeslevs back in each others lives..

and if this happens with you and your friend, then great.. and if not. .you have memories of the time you did have together... and nothing can take that from you