[BrunetteBabe1005]

This guy Jake works for my dad's construction company and I am worried he might be weirdly jealous or if I am over reacting. Here are a couple of situations, thanks for reading!

Jake is always questioning my where abouts, but it's funny cause he is showing little to no interest in me, but he is always concerned where I am though. In the beginning he texted me too much and called me, but I kept rejecting him on him taking me out, and he stopped texting me and calling me. I felt bad cause I liked him, but since he works for my dad, I thought that would be a awkward situation.

Well one day my mom said I was with my friend Erica, and Jake said "Why is she with Erica?" Then my dad took me, Jake, and my brother to a baseball game, and I came home early, but Jake said in a stern voice "Where were you?" Granted he was kinda drunk but still. Then my dad's worker Ron was there and Ron is my dad's age so he is fatherly, and he complimented me and said "Sara you look nice, and you smell nice too!" lol! But Jake said "Eww Sara Ron is smelling you!" Then while Ron was there, Jake said "Take some pics of me and Sara" and he was gripping me tightly, like grabbing at my waist, and was like holding onto to me for dear life he was all over me, and I am thinking is it because Ron complimented me? So I was creeped out.

My mom had to pick him up cause his car broke down, and my mom expressed to him that she was mad at me for coming home late last night from a friend's house which was also a guy. And my said that Jake started to ask her a bunch of questions like "What's his name?" "Ben who?" "Is he short?" and so on. My mom said he was saying it so fast, that she couldn't respond. I was sleeping in the living room, and Jake came over and tapped my head and said "Where were you?" He repeated himself, and of course I didn't answer him, and he tried to whip my blanket off of me, and he was taking pics of me, and at this point I am really mad, haha! He was laughing and thought it was funny, but I was creeped out, then he said "Who's **** were you sucking?" My parents didn't hear this, and they walked in when he was taking pics of me, so they are kinda oblivious to what is happening.

My mom is weirded out by him but I didn't tell her what he did. He also was asking my dad to switch to Tmobile lol! He said he wanted all of us on his plan, and now I figured out why he wanted that, cause he told my mom that you can track anyone's location that is on that plan, so if we were all on Jake's plan he could track any of us at any given time, unless I am looking to much into it.

Sorry for that boring story, but also he would say "I love you" alot to me, granted he was drunk when he said this, but he hasn't said in like 2 months, but he did alot before. Like I said he did stop texting and calling me, but then he'll do this kind of stuff, and it confuses me. He did call me a week ago drunk and said he wanted me to meet his baby, and I am not close enough to him to meet his baby, so I was weirded out by that.

Am I looking into this? or is this harmless? If he was truly obsessed I would think he would non stop call me or text me, but then again I don't know if some stalkers are shrewd enough to like know their boundries in a way. Is this healthy jealousy? Or not? Thank you so much!

[lynn P.]

IMO I feel Jake is out of line and his question about "who's **** were you sucking" is completely wrong and inappropriate. He has no business asking where you are or who you're with or ripping the blanket off you and taking pictures. Do your best to avoid him and since your mother agree he's giving off a creepy vibe.....tell her not to let him in the house anymore. I think you should tell your parents what he said to you. He's bad news and rude. Always trust your instincts. He has no reason to act like a suspicious BF and no business telling your parents to switch phone companies. Your dad's his boss and Jake needs to remember his place.

[Grey Matter]

Trust your instincts. If you have to question if his jealousy is normal; then it probably isn't. He has no right to control you, especially when you've rejected him time and time again. This has "future abuser" written all over it, and it's not at all your fault. You've done nothing wrong! Please remember that.

I think it would be best if you did all you could to make sure he can not get in contact with you anymore or have access to your home. Be honest with your mom, let her known how uncomfortable you are.

I hope things get easier soon! Please be safe and take care.

[healingme4me]

To me, what I am reading, this goes well beyond jealousy, to possessiveness. Control, manipulation and could lead to something more sinister in a relationship.

I'd go with your mom's impression here.

[Perna]

I don't understand the dynamics of your father's business but I think Jake is too much into your family's personal lives and you should ask your father to talk to him, tell your mother what is going on with his bothering you and have the two of them do something about him. I would confront him if he asked me inappropriate questions about where I was or with whom or came in my house and woke me, etc., let him know you did not find it appropriate and you would be telling your father.

[BrunetteBabe1005]

Originally Posted by lynn P.

IMO I feel Jake is out of line and his question about "who's **** were you sucking" is completely wrong and inappropriate. He has no business asking where you are or who you're with or ripping the blanket off you and taking pictures. Do your best to avoid him and since your mother agree he's giving off a creepy vibe.....tell her not to let him in the house anymore. I think you should tell your parents what he said to you. He's bad news and rude. Always trust your instincts. He has no reason to act like a suspicious BF and no business telling your parents to switch phone companies. Your dad's his boss and Jake needs to remember his place.

You are absolutely right lynn P.! He is crossing lines, and I guess I am just afraid to tell my dad cause I know my dad is the protective type and would just fire Jake. There would be no exceptions, and I don't want him fired, cause he does have a baby, and my dad pays well, so he gets ahead with working with my dad, but I wouldn'twant him to go off on the deep end cause of me, and who knows if I did do that what if he wanted to get "revenge" and like try to kill me or something? That might be far fetched, but I am just weary of him. Thank you so much lynn P. for answering! I greatly appreciate it!

[BrunetteBabe1005]

Originally Posted by Teen Idle

Trust your instincts. If you have to question if his jealousy is normal; then it probably isn't. He has no right to control you, especially when you've rejected him time and time again. This has "future abuser" written all over it, and it's not at all your fault. You've done nothing wrong! Please remember that.

I think it would be best if you did all you could to make sure he can not get in contact with you anymore or have access to your home. Be honest with your mom, let her known how uncomfortable you are.

I hope things get easier soon! Please be safe and take care.

Thank you Teen Idle! Yes, I heard about a year ago he physically attacked his girlfriend and spent 10 days in jail. And yes I will try to handle this without my dad, cause I know my dad will just fire him and there would be no exceptions and I think that would be extreme. But thanks again! I will keep an update!

[BrunetteBabe1005]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

To me, what I am reading, this goes well beyond jealousy, to possessiveness. Control, manipulation and could lead to something more sinister in a relationship.

I'd go with your mom's impression here.

Yes you're right! I just have to take action here! Thanks for answering!

[BrunetteBabe1005]

Originally Posted by Perna

I don't understand the dynamics of your father's business but I think Jake is too much into your family's personal lives and you should ask your father to talk to him, tell your mother what is going on with his bothering you and have the two of them do something about him. I would confront him if he asked me inappropriate questions about where I was or with whom or came in my house and woke me, etc., let him know you did not find it appropriate and you would be telling your father.

My dad owns a construction company and usually he will tell his workers to meet at our house to go to work. Well, since my dad is the type that he is not really a boss he is more of a friend, he lets his workers in on our personal lives, cause my dad is a easy going guy, however, if anyone messes with me, my brother or my mother my dad gets very protective, and if I told my dad the stuff that Jake did he would fire him in a heartbeat. There would no exceptions cause my dad has done that in the past one time it was with me and a bunch of times associated with my brother. A different worker would always bother me, and he just flat out fired him and wanted nothing to do with him. My dad also got vicious with that guy and yelled at him viciously and that is so not my dad. Anyways yeah he fired that guy, and he wasn't bad like Jake. That guy (steve) was just always asking me out, but he never got weird with me, he we was just constantly bothering me, and my dad found out (not by me) and he fired him immediately. But yes I am going to have to do something, cause from what everyone is saying this is bad news. Thank you for answering!

[hamster-bamster]

text something like this to Jake: "Jake, if you ever do/say ABC again, I would immediately tell my dad, and he will take it from there. I have warned you once - this is enough, so mind your own business for your own sake. Thanks bye."