Divorce & Father relationship issue

How do I start?
I am now 55 years old, had been trying to divorce my wife for 3-4 years and had a failed business which I had for 9 years. That business was reasonable successful in my first 5 years but when the financial crisis came in 2007, everything turned south! My biggest mistake in my lifetime was trying to hang onto a failing business stubbornly for another 3.5 years thus exhausting all my financial resources!!! Eventually, I sold my home to settle all my debt in 2010. The remaining resources lasted us another 2 years. Nevertheless my wife still have another 3 years of financial resources (if she is willing to change her life style). Approx. 90% of her savings came primarily from me while we were living in Asia. Every time I sold a real estate investment, I gave her some. I made lots of money in real estate back then! I was the type of guy who is totally committed in a marriage back then and love my kids dearly. After my first daughter was born ( she is 17 years old now), I used to tell my best friends that my daughter is the best gift I had in my life. Nothing else really matters! Everything I did was for the welfare, security and happiness of my family - a good father & dedicated husband!

I was born in a upper middle class family in Asia but have my college education (BA & MBA) in the US. I returned to Asia to work for a well known int'l real estate firm before venturing out on my on with a friend. I have a pretty successful business for 10 years prior to migrating to Australia as a business migrant. I migrated to Australia for 3 purpose: 1) Have a more relaxed life style (I was in poor health before migrating) and 2) Re-educate myself so that I can change my career (I got 2 more masters degree) and 3) Fulfill my wife's life time dream - to get a chance to go to Uni. She had only finished grade 10 in Asia and always long for a university degree.

Back in my college years, I was a shy and not a confident man. Therefore I only had 2 girlfriends while in college.
After starting my real estate business in Asia for about a year, I was introduce to my current wife who came from a very poor family. Her father "retired" in his early 40s when he still had 6 kids to feed. He "forced" her 2 elder daughters to quit high school so that they can work & support the whole family.
My wife was a dental assistant when I met her. Life was very tough for her as she had to work all-night for on another job at the hospital to make ends meet for her family.
She dated a doctor for a very short while and was dumped. She then try to date his dentist boss who happens to be my friend. As my friend wasn't serious, she dumped him for me after being introduced to me in a private party. She was a very beautiful and a simple minded girl, the type I had been looking for! We got married after 3 months' dating. But my family objected to the marriage & never attended my wedding. Nevertheless, my father gave us the 1st deposit to buy our 1st home. Her relationship with my family was very distant while my relationship with her family was very very close. I visited them every week & took them out for lunch or dinner at least once a week and had established a good "brotherly" relationship with her brother and sisters. They all have a high respect for me as I was doing pretty well in my business and was very kind & generous to them! Her father was "pedantic" and very autocratic! No one dares to speak up during dinner.
I started giving my wife enough money every month to support her family once we were married. You can say that I was her "financial savior"!
Our first 9 years in Australia was fantastic as we both achieved all our goals!
I felt very blessed as I live in our dream home in a top suburb, had a very happy wife, a wonderful daughter, very fulfilling education & a dream job working for one of the top financial services firm. Sounds like a fantasy but it is true! Friends look up to us as "The Perfect Family"!
After 5 very gratifying & financially rewarding years working in Australia, I decided that I want to be an entrepreneur once again. After having looked for a few opportunities in Australia, I decided to return to Asia as my parents had been lobbying us to go back very time we visit them! We do wonderful travel trips at last 3-4 times a year as I love traveling!
When I returned to Asia, I found a job in the same financial services industry but I have to start from scratch which means I make very little money.
My wife did returned until 6 months later.
My father was once generous to give us our 2nd deposit for a new home. It was a luxurious condominium.
My daughter was very lucky to get into a top junior school for grade 1, after fighting off 700 applicants for 50 places. Education was very competitive in Asia. She had a good start as my wife had put her in private tutorial since kindergarten. She had private tutors for english, math, piano & violin when she was only 4. Sounds crazy, but that's how Asian women believes in!!! As I was financially secure during that time, I didn't objected to her "extravagant" investment in our daughter's future. By the way a lot of the other Asian family did the same!
But the first crack in our relationship started after my 2nd daughter was born!
My wife, possibly due to post natal depression, started to scold & disciple my elder daughter who was only 5 or 6. She was forced to study no-stop (ie no break, right after school) till midnight and yet have to wake up @ 6:30 am to in the morning! Despite of my effort to change her approach, she wouldn't budge! She think that kids need to be disciple to ensure they learn and don't waste a single min!
The 2nd crack appeared when I quit my job after 6 months to look for a business! She start to be disrespectful to me as I was, well "unemployed"!
But within 6 month's search, I found a business back in Australia. I flew back to Australia by myself and bought the business within 3 weeks! As the business was totally new new to me, it took a toll on me mentally & physically as I was living by myself. Despite my plea for her to return to Australia, she just would not! But GOD intervene (I am still an atheist) - SARS came to Asia & she fly back to Australia with our 2 daughters.
My business flourished in the new 3-4 years and we built our 2nd dream custom home on a river canal front block large enough to dock a 60 boat. I told her right form the beginning that we would build this home & sell it tax free after one year as the lot has appreciated considerably. We have lots of argument from the design phase to he completion phase. After living in there for 1 year, I told her that I want to sell the home & move to a less expensive one but still in a top neighborhood. The 3rd big crack came when she refused and told me with no uncertain terms that if I sell, she would divorce me! So I grudging stayed put even though I knew we can't afford that kind of style yet. But the Global Financial Crisis came and when I put the home for sell, buyers interests were scarce. As time passed, the City that we lived in went into a deep recession as a few high profile business went bust! My business turned into the read by 2007 & gets deeper & deeper into the red the following 3 years.
I take 80% of the responsibly for not managing my financial situation forcefully!
But the key 4th crack was when she kept up her unrelenting mental & even physical abuse of my elder daughter, DAILY!!!
I lobbied her mother & father over long distance call practically every night for a whole year and even flew them to stay in our home for 3 months hoping to convince her to change her aggressive approach!
I even wrote to the head of Junior School twice & got to see the headmaster and asked him to speak to my wife about the Western education philosophy. SHe refused to attend and scolded me for discussing family affairs with outsiders!
I was very depressed for a period of time (I didn't know it was in a state depression after heated arguments in middle of the night so much so that I have to leave the house & just go to a bar or the casino to get drunk)!

The last stroll was when I ask her to see family counselors to help us out. I was introduce to 4 counselors but she refused to see any of them! That was when I decide that I must divorce my wife back in 2009. But I didn't act on it immediately as I need to wait for 2 daughters to grow up until the elder goes to college and the younger one turn at least 12. Now that she is in college, I moved back to Asia so that I can have the 12 months separation period prior to filing my divorce papers.
But when I told my father that I want to divorce my wife, he surprising didn't want to talk to me about it & there were more issue......which I guess is too long a sad story for those who read about me the first time.
Why don't I ask for an opinion if I am doing the right by my wife and my kids.
I shall chat with those who have an interesting my plight next time about my even more challenging relationship with my father as I can't "divorce" my father who now supports my family

You have been a busy man during your lifetime. I understand your concern about your wife's treatment of your older daughter. I hope that now your daughter is in college she is living away from home. Does she not treat the 2nd daughter the same way? It sounds like you are getting very little emotional support from your wife or love for that matter. If I were you I would seek counseling for yourself and see if you can come to terms with how you are feeling about a divorce. Then maybe you can make a wise and informed decision.
Good luck to you.
Gayle