[tomthumb]

So I was away for a business trip for about a month and there I found a woman whom I was really fond of. Long story short, at first I sort of admired her from afar, then we went out with other colleague and got along well which led to meeting alone and chatting for long periods and again we seemed to be getting along very well. During this time she seemed to be sending signal that she was interested, at least interested enough to continue chatting and seeing each other. Anyway, I didn’t really make a move (ie no attemps to kiss her or anything) because I wanted to be sure I wasn’t misreading things since she is a work colleague and I didn’t want to make things weird by acting too soon. Anyway we started texting quite a bit and they were friendly. I noticed that the trip was coming to a close (we are generally pretty far apart) so I tried to get her to come out with me again to which she never said no but always had an excuse. The problem is that the excuses made sense and her texts were friendly and went back and forth. Finally I physically saw her and she retreated and gathered up a coworker to walk with her and walked by me with her head down and didn’t reply to my “hello”. So I texted her something about how I was sorry to misreading signals and making her uncomfortable to which she replied that she wasn’t used to attention. Later I ran into her again standing with another coworker who asked her if she wanted him to stay (I have good ears) and she said it was alright. I had every intention of getting to the bottom of this but could only manage some stupid small talk before I got called off for work. So it was almost time to leave so I figured I’d text another apology for making her uncomfortable and said something about how I thought she was awesome and wished her luck so I receive a text from her saying that she was used to being invisible and wished me luck as well. However, I really wanted to clear the air on this one so I texted her at the airport and said she could come and chat if she got bored so as I was waiting in airport she walked by and told the other two colleges she was with that “he’s in here” or something to that effect and walked off (I decided not to look up from pretending to be on my smart phone). Anyway she walked past me as she was boarding the plane and very obviously looked the other way.
Anyway, I find myself perplexed as to how this happened. For one, the whole thing was within the space of a week. I’ve been rejected before but they either say they don’t want to go out or stop texting. No one has ever treated me like a stalker before, the whole thing was really really humiliating and embarrassing. The worse part is that I was completely blindsided by it, I thought she was enjoying the communication, meanwhile she was clearly telling everyone that I was harassing her or something but even when I saw what was going on she still didn’t exactly tell me off.. what in the world is “I’m not used to attention” or “I’m used to being invisible” supposed to mean?

[Nicks_Nose]

I wish I could explain that one myself. I have social anxiety and I tend to open up more this way than I do in person, but I wouldn't be doing what she did. I would say just shrug it off and chaulk it up as just a strange woman and continue one with life. There are many kinds of people out in the world and we don't always understand everybody we encounter. Perhaps she was interested in you but has social phobia and would begin to feel panicky once she saw you and was embarrassed to be seen in a panic attack. Who knows?

[healingme4me]

Sounds like she's playing games. You deserve better. Not used to attention, used to being invisible? Sounds like kids on a playground. I noticed this about my son, once. A little girl would talk to him, if we showed up at the playground, so long as her little friends weren't around. Otherwise, cold shoulder. Sorry, you went through this.

[tomthumb]

Thanks for the analysis.. I got out of a 10 year (generally miserable) relationship and this would be the second person since then who I allowed myself to have feelings for who has turned around and burned me. Maybe i'm doing something wrong and/or my radar seeks out the difficult women.