[theyoungersister]

My older sister married at 18 the marriage lasted all about 3 years since then she spent the better part of 25+ years moving from one man to another and in jail many times for traffic violations and drug possession etc. She has two beautiful children who are adults now she knows who the father of the youngest is not so sure about the oldest could be one of many.. Five years ago she remarried and her life is just about as bad as it was when she was on drugs. She's also 50 and an attention wh@@@ she lives in a run down double wide with her husband his parents and his brother and his brother's wife. There are six adults living in a three bedroom double wide. She's the only one who works out of the group. The rest have jobs but only go to work when they feel like it and most of the time they don't. Her husband was laid off and his unemployment ran out in May and he refuses to look for work. He has asked my sister for assistance in filling out online resume's/job applications and she refuses to help him. My sister is the sole supporter of six adults. Her husband refuses to move out he thinks that crappy double wide will be his when they die and he thinks when they do he's going to tear it down and build a campground/B&B in it's place. My sister is miserable but refuses to do anything about it. Sometimes I think she does this for the attention because she complains to my Dad and step mother and they'll say oh your poor dear oh you porr little thing.. In her first marriage she complained to Mom non stop about how miserable she was and then blamed the divorce on my Mom and called everyone in the family and said Mom was forcing her to get a divorce. She lied to her (then) husbands parents that she didn't want to divorce their son but Mom was forcing her to. They and everyone else in the family believed her and it caused friction between the two families and because our families had a lot of mutual friends Mom and Dad lost most of their friends. Now that Mom's gone guess who has taken her place??? Me!!
She would call me every day to complain about her husband and her in laws/room mates and I've said nothing then one day I told her I'm sorry I don't know what to tell you except that you shouldn't be supporting six adults. Why don't you push the issue of moving out.. That pissed her off and she's barely spoken to me since February because I "live the high life" and I'm rubbing it in her face while she lives in misery and supports six adults. She doesn't return my phone calls emails texts anything. Just last weekend was our family reunion and she barely talked to me except for to complain about how miserable she is.. I walked away from her in mid conversation. I just couldn't bare to stand there and listened to her complain for the millionth time about how miserable she is.

I miss my sister. I miss our hour long phone calls and texting each other funny pics. I feel sad about it all the time. What I hate the most is putting on a happy face for my Dad and the rest of the family when what I really want to do is scream at the top of my lungs my sister is a moron and I want nothing more than to kick her *** right now.

I tried to enlist the help of my Dad but he thinks it's her place to support her husband and his family. He said "they need her they can't live without the money she brings in".
My Mother wanted more than anything was for us to put aside our differences and become close again. I'm trying to abide by my Mother's dying wishes but what do I do when my sister hates me because I have a "prefect life".. The sad part is her new husband and new marriage is a carbon copy of her first husband and marriage..I don't ever see a resolve to this.I think my sister and I have a doomed relationship.

[athenapallas7]

wow...

Your sister does need help, but I don't think she is ready to get it.

I know people like her... drama queens that need to be the spotlight, even if to do so they have to hurt themselves...

maybe you can enlist help from someone outside of family? Does she have a friend she'd listen to? Also, she might need a lot of therapy... but you can't let her trap you into her misery. She needs company in her misery, you need to figure out a way to let her know you may need her company in a better place, and that that she can join you there... but she does have to be the one to work for it.

I'm so sorry for you....