How do I let this guy down and get him out of my life?

I met a guy last week -- he was a customer that came into work, and we started talking, then texted, then went out on a date. It was one of the least enjoyable and awkward dates I have ever been on, even though he's a nice guy and all, and I in absolutely no way want a relationship with him...hell, I don't even want to go out on another date with him! He won't leave me alone though, and today, he even showed up while I was at work and was hanging around -- so not cool, and borderline creepy in my book! He keeps texting me and whatnot, and I hate to be a b.tch, but I really want him off my back! What should I do?

Ugh. I once was set up with this guy who was the biggest nerd, like think Napoleon Dynamite, all the way. Though he was a nerd, he wasn't super astute about picking up hints as to the fact that it -wasn't- happening between us, like, ever. Finally, I couldn't dumb down my hints any more and had to just tell him, "Look, it's like this - me and you, it's not going to happen. Like, ever." LOL. I felt kind of bad and yes, I felt like a B, but with some people, especially stalkery people like the guy you're talking about, you have to be absolutely clear from the get-go.

Oh, and get some pepper spray. Generally not a bad idea for women anyway.

I'm not at all worried about my safety...more just my sanity. I definitely don't need pepper spray (it's pretty much impossible to get in NY anyway). I live in a super safe town, and probably about the safest spot in town you can live (next to the fire dept and a block away from the police). This guys is perfectly harmless I'm sure -- he's a school librarian...he's just not so good at taking hints.

Wow he came to your place of employment?! Way out of line. I agree with transientsoul, you are going to have to be very clear to him that a relationship isn't happening with you two.

Hey when I was 22 I lived across the street from a fire station in downtown Detroit! Agreed, safest place in town! One night somebody fell asleep smoking in bed on our floor, I just walked across the street and said hey we got a fire.

Maybe you'll have to ask a fireman to put out this guy's fire! Good luck

Be direct. Men appreciate it.

Just text him and say that you don't want to go on any more dates and that you'd appreciate it if he didn't call into work especially to see you as it makes you uncomfortable (you can be as blunt or nice about how you word it but unless you make those 2 things clear, he may read other things into it and think there's still hope).

If after that he still comes into your work just to see you or still tries to get another date then he's entering stalker mode but I don't think that'll happen from what you've said. He'll probably just be slightly embarrassed and you'll never see him again.

Being rejected is one of the pitfalls of going out with someone and most men would prefer a direct rejection quickly rather than having to endure a state of misplaced hope only to find out later that there was never a chance and that they've been behaving like a ****.

Yep. Just telling him (as nicely as possible but firmly) that you're not interested is the best way to go. I agree with the others that he will likely be a little embarrassed that he thought there was something going on between you that wasn't, and will probably avoid going into your place of business even for legitimate business for a while.

Well, except that's where they initially met.

Sometimes you just have to be blunt. "I don't want to date you."

I would agree, except that's where we met.

It took telling him twice and telling him to lay off because he texts me more than my mother, but he got the message. I feel bad, but I freaking need some space!

hi, I'm curious why, after talking and texting, the date was such a disaster? Did he force you to date him in any way or you wanted it too?

Glad he finally got the message.

The date wasn't a disaster, but we disagree on a few major things that are dealbreakers for me. He's a nice guy, but at this point in my life, I'm only dating to find the guy I'm gonna marry, not just for the hell of it.