[ohsoinsecure]

Hi there :-)

I'm completely new to this place, so forgive me if this is the wrong forum. I have been looking for such a massive forum with so many people and topics, and finally found this to be the best one.

As the title says, I feel really insecure around other guys. Especially around guys I don't know too well, or guys who seem really confident and outgoing. I tend to just clam up, and have no inputs for the conversation, something which I often have in other forums, for example when I'm around people I know well, girls or my family.

I have noticed that I don't feel this way around guys I find to be.. well, not insecure (how would I know?), but not as confident. There just has to be one confident guy present, and these feelings start to come up.

Considering I have a much easier time talking to girls, this might seem like a luxury problem, but I have found myself to have less male friends than I did a couple of years ago, and I'm having trouble making new.

This usually gets worse, the more people there's present in the room, guys or girls.

Anyways, this really bugs me. As I said, I have a hard time making new male friends, and I generally try to stay away from socializing when the particular guys are present (I live in a dormitory (is that a word?)), and when I'm there I feel awkward.

How can I work on this? Is it a matter of my own selfconfidence or does everyone else feel the same way? Any inputs would help me a ton

[kaliope]

Hi ohsoinsecure
Welcome to Psych Central. So it sounds like you really have problems socializing with other people. You are not alone. You will find many people just like you in the forums here. Most people refer to it as social anxiety. I don't go out an socialize either. When I do, I ask somebody I know to go with me, so I have at least one person to talk to, otherwise, I end up spending the night alone. Anyway, hope you find your way around the forums, You will get lots of support here. take care.

[rythmman]

Many people have a hard time with certain types of people. For me, trying to talk to someone who doesn't let me finish my thought really irritates me, and I clam up. Or, if I just don't have anything in common with that person. One thing that you may consider, many people who seem very confidant tend to also be outspoken, outgoing, etc. Could it be that you just don't feel as if they want to talk to you? Many women are much better listeners, which could explain why you can talk to them much easier (wish I had that problem ).
Just my 2 cents, for what it's worth.

Being kind of an introvert and kind of a geek i totally get this. I don't typically get along around other guys, especially guys that do the traditional things as males do to bond -- sports talk, and other stuff I call bullsht. lol. I am just not into that kind of thing and the types of conversation they typically get into. I am quite uncomfortable if forced into a situation with a group of men like that.

I wish I had an answer for you. I just avoid it. I don't need "male" friends like that anyway.

[IndieVisible]

Welcome to the forum. There are types of guys I don't like being around too. Usually sports talk bores me in like 1 minute. I also don't like loud obnoxious guys trying to over do their masculinity. Just the opposite of those who try to be too feminine, both extremes annoy me. Geek talk bores me in two minutes. Come to think of it, I get bored quickly no matter who they are lol.