[Confuscious]

Ok, so this will probably be a bit confusing but also before you keep reading, please don't Judge me or my Uncle...

Here's the story... it all started 6-7 years ago when I was out visiting him and my Aunt (yes they're married)... He was wearing shorts and I was playing with my cell phone that I had at the time (it had one of those pull out antenna's) so I was tracing lines all along his thigh.. well one thing lead to another and it ended with him performing oral on me. I was young and stupid at the time so I told my doctor and asked him to tell my mom and so my mom found out (my aunt is her sister).. well that caused a huge problem and everybody stopped talking for a few years. Well, a few years ago everyone started talking again and this past summer i decided to go out and visit my Aunt and Uncle again (hoping that I was forgiven - by both of them).. well I was and I ended up talking to my Aunt explaining that everything that had happened was my fault and I hoped that she and my Uncle could work through this and get back to 'normal'.. whatever normal is.

Anyways, while I was out there this time - "stuff" happened again.. I performed oral on him, and jacked him off, and he fingered me etc...anyway, im back at my home now and so now we have this secret, again.. and this time I'm not going to say anything.. but my question I guess, is... he gave me his work # and email so we could keep in contact.. and we've set up a day/time every week for me to call him... He keeps saying he loves my aunt and wants to work things out with her, and he "belongs" to her...

I know both of us are vulnerable, have feelings of not being wanted, loved, needed, cared for etc... so yes we can take care of some of those feelings if even temporarily... we both have physical needs as well that aren't being satisfied by anyone other than ourselves... so yes i guess it is bound to happen but, would you guys consider it cheating still now that we are talking on the phone? i read some other forums where people consider anything their spouse feels needs to be hidden from them as cheating... but do you guys think we have anything more than just an Uncle/Niece relationship?? *besides the physical stuff that happened while we were together*... is he cheating on her with me by just having these 'secret' conversations?? does he love me more than just a Niece? do i love him as more than an Uncle?

i dunno why im even writing this.. sigh - i guess im looking for opinions and comments and if anyone has been in a similar situation of being "the other woman"... maybe im looking for someone to talk to or email or whatever and discuss everything? i dunno... i'll leave this open for any comments etc..

[tinyrabbit]

It's hard to answer this properly without knowing how old you are?

[Confuscious]

Originally Posted by tinyrabbit

It's hard to answer this properly without knowing how old you are?

i am 27, he is 60... my aunt is 53. another note is he has absolutely no trouble getting an erection. his recovery time is less than 30 minutes and my aunt does nothing to satisfy him.

[healingme4me]

Aside from the other woman aspect, is the notion that this is your uncle, albeit, technically not blood related, just by marriage.

You are 27. There aren't other men around, who are more available, emotionally and legally? (legally, meaning, not married) Your aunt could, legally turn around and file a lawsuit against you, depending on the state that you live in. Which is a big risk for those who plan to be the other woman in a married man's life. It's called alienation of affection lawsuits.

[Yoda]

I don't know that it matters if you use the label 'cheating' but I do think it is unhealthy.

[Victoria'smom]

he is cheating you're not unless you're in a different relationship. I really suggest you stop visiting and cut that type of relationship off. it will only lead to you being completely isolated both from him and the rest of your family.

[ocdwifeofsociopath]

K I know you said not to judge, but this makes me think of my horny grandfather-in-law that has too big of a thing with much much younger girls. I would say from a general standpoint that most likely you are being used which you knew and yes it is cheating. How would you feel if you were your aunt? Not only are you doing this with her husband, but you are family. Some would see that as more the betrayal than had he simply been cheating. Especially when you came back and apologized. Just my thoughts. I'm frequently wrong

[tinyrabbit]

I think you misunderstood my question. I wasn't asking about age because of any concern about his ability to perform, but because I wanted to know if you were under the age of consent.

My personal feeling is that this isn't about whether he loves you or not. It seems like he saw an opportunity and took advantage of it. I don't know what made you initiate that but he is a married man and he is your relative so I am concerned about your personal self-esteem and self-regard.

This isn't appropriate, and I think you know that.

[athenapallas7]

I won't be judging you, but:

Fact 1 - he is married to someone else. Nothing you've said indicates he has any idea of changing that. Or any will to change that.

Fact 2 - she is your aunt. Your family.

My opinion - if you thought this relationship was ok you wouldn't be dicussing it here. Maybe you seek approval, maybe you want other people's opinion to decide on your own opinion of what to do next. Also, my opinion, you're setting yourself up to a lot of heart ache and grief.

My opinion - yea, you are the other woman. He has no plans to change that. You might not be his only 'other woman' too... he seems to be too confortable with the situation for you to be the first or only 'other woman'.

Try to be on your aunt's shoes... try to imagine what all of this means to her, how you are making her feel.

The relationship is, at best, totally inappropriate, and yes, I do think he is taking advantage of you. Get out of it while you can. And his age is irrelevant, most creepy guys I unfortunatly know are on that age group...

Originally Posted by Confuscious

Ok, so this will probably be a bit confusing but also before you keep reading, please don't Judge me or my Uncle...

Here's the story... it all started 6-7 years ago when I was out visiting him and my Aunt (yes they're married)... He was wearing shorts and I was playing with my cell phone that I had at the time (it had one of those pull out antenna's) so I was tracing lines all along his thigh.. well one thing lead to another and it ended with him performing oral on me. I was young and stupid at the time so I told my doctor and asked him to tell my mom and so my mom found out (my aunt is her sister).. well that caused a huge problem and everybody stopped talking for a few years. Well, a few years ago everyone started talking again and this past summer i decided to go out and visit my Aunt and Uncle again (hoping that I was forgiven - by both of them).. well I was and I ended up talking to my Aunt explaining that everything that had happened was my fault and I hoped that she and my Uncle could work through this and get back to 'normal'.. whatever normal is.

Anyways, while I was out there this time - "stuff" happened again.. I performed oral on him, and jacked him off, and he fingered me etc...anyway, im back at my home now and so now we have this secret, again.. and this time I'm not going to say anything.. but my question I guess, is... he gave me his work # and email so we could keep in contact.. and we've set up a day/time every week for me to call him... He keeps saying he loves my aunt and wants to work things out with her, and he "belongs" to her...

I know both of us are vulnerable, have feelings of not being wanted, loved, needed, cared for etc... so yes we can take care of some of those feelings if even temporarily... we both have physical needs as well that aren't being satisfied by anyone other than ourselves... so yes i guess it is bound to happen but, would you guys consider it cheating still now that we are talking on the phone? i read some other forums where people consider anything their spouse feels needs to be hidden from them as cheating... but do you guys think we have anything more than just an Uncle/Niece relationship?? *besides the physical stuff that happened while we were together*... is he cheating on her with me by just having these 'secret' conversations?? does he love me more than just a Niece? do i love him as more than an Uncle?

i dunno why im even writing this.. sigh - i guess im looking for opinions and comments and if anyone has been in a similar situation of being "the other woman"... maybe im looking for someone to talk to or email or whatever and discuss everything? i dunno... i'll leave this open for any comments etc..