[Broncos38]

I love my mother dearly, but recently she has been getting on my nerves. I'm 33 and am starting to get free of my seizures, but she won't really loosen up and treat me like an adult. I know I've made a few mistakes in the past year, but that was only when I was looking for Mr. Right, I've since found him, and he and his family have been very wonderful to me! We live in the same county, but are 45 mins away from each other and have to call each other around his schedule 'cause at the moment he works 2 part-time jobs. I've had my Epilepsy since I was 8 months old. I can see how she wanted me to be near to her when I was a kid, but now that I'm a grown woman and things are starting to get easier(other than her being so protective & controlling-she still wants me to shower with the door open so she can hear me, I don't even have generalized tonic-clonic seizures anymore-if any (and I only had 2 recently when my VNS battery was low and needed replacement) I have my staring seizures-and only when she is around. My Epilepsy was mostly cured after I had my brain surgery and was on the Modified Atkins Diet for 2 years (from October 11, 2010-October 11, 2012). I'm the one in the house(I live with 2 older brothers, ages 36 and 47, and both parents) who does the majority of the chores (I clean the house, do laundry, clean(I'm the only one who does this part with a paper towel) & change our cats' water dish, help prepare food, sometimes my mom makes me wait on her hand & foot like a live-in maid! I feel like "Cinderella" sometimes. I understand I live at home and don't have a job, but it's RIDICULOUS because my mom will sometimes tell me how to do those jobs or how fast I should be doing them. Sometimes she'll give me things to do one right after the other, after the other, and expect me to remember every minute detail of what she told me to do-or even bring up from downstairs! I don't mind helping her every now and then, or even doing it for a reward(like she used to do-she'd treat me to lunch or dinner or do SOMETHING to show she appreciated my help, but now she hardly even gives so much as a "Thank You" or any kind of compliment. My brothers don't even so much as volunteer to help me when I have a lot to bring upstairs from downstairs! My boyfriend is looking into getting us a 2-bedroom low-income apartment(parents don't know about this yet)-and I honestly don't know how to approach my parents about it. He and I already have a pre-engagement/promise rings, and we both don't want to live in our parents' homes any longer. I look forward to any opinions on the matter. Thank you all ahead of

[Travelinglady]

I can't say my mother is that overprotective! I'm wondering if you can get some sort of note or report from your doctor that says that her doing things like wanting you to shower with the door open is not necessary. I do suggest you talk to your doc about it.

As far as moving away, I'm sure your parents won't be thrilled, but you are 33 years old! Honestly, for one thing, they might not want to lose out on your free labor.

Would your boyfriend be willing to be with you and you can tell your parents as a couple? Maybe he can promise he can care for you, etc. But there might still be a battle. But, as I say, it's not like you are a little kid!

[healingme4me]

Safety advice for people with epilepsy | Epilepsy Action

You do have a right to privacy. Is your mom, in counseling? It could help her, cope with the struggles she endured as being the primary caregiver to a child that had this disorder. And they could help her, overcome her fears about you and your future. You are now, a grown woman, and if you want independence, there's no reason to stop you from growing up, in her eyes.