[dolphinlover8]

This has always been a problem but I think it is starting to be more of a problem lately. Ever since I was little I always talked to my mom in a certain way. I don't realize it but everyone else does. They say I talk to her really mean and always give her attitude. For me it's just how I am use to talking to my mom and it's normal to me because I don't realize it. My friends have said stuff to me about it,I have lost a friend because how I talk to my parents,it is part of the reason why I get into arguments with my moms boyfriend,my old therapist noticed it etc. They have all said something about it but I just don't see what they are talking about because I have always talked to my mom that way. I can't change it. I don't know how to because I don't see why they are talking about. It's just normal to me. I am too embarrassed to talk to my therapist about it or anyone else and this is why I haven't tried to get help with it.

[gayleggg]

Your therapist is the one you need to work up the courage to discuss this with. They are trained to help people change their behaviors. I think it is great that you are starting to get a idea of how others perceive you. Don't be embarrassed, you didn't know any better but now that you know better you can do better.

[SilverNeurotic]

Perhaps record yourself when you are talking to your mother and then listen to it. Often we don't hear ourselves talking so you probably don't know what you sound like. Perhaps even spend some time reflecting on possible reasons why you are mean in your communication with her.

[dolphinlover8]

Thanks! Yeah I'm going to have to get the courage and tell my therapist even though it's embarrassing. Recording myself is a good idea to see what others are talking about but the recording wouldn't help with changing it.

[Gwynyd]

Do speak to your therapist about it, after all they are working for you not the other way round. Our thoughts, feelings and behaviour are all interconnected, so changing the way you think about this problem will change everything else. Good luck with it.

[CedarS]

Originally Posted by dolphinlover8

Thanks! Yeah I'm going to have to get the courage and tell my therapist even though it's embarrassing. Recording myself is a good idea to see what others are talking about but the recording wouldn't help with changing it.

The recording can help with eventually changing, because it might help you hear what others are telling you.

Understanding what others are saying, and hearing it for yourself, can help with your first step towards behavior change.

You wrote earlier that you can't change how you talk to your mother, but actually, you can. You'll be able to talk with your therapist about this, you can even tell your therapist that all this is embarrassing, that is perfectly fine.