[Bugeaud]

My school is very popular with internationals. Probably 20-40% of the schools population is international. And Chinese, they only want to hang out with Chinese, Koreans with Koreans, and so on. Even Chinese Canadians, who will speak English even when Chinese is spoken to them, but still they would rather hang out with Chinese. That sort of makes me sad sometimes because I meet someone who is a really good person and then I realize, "I can never truly be friends with this person." Me, I'm mixed race. My accent is clearly Canadian, but some people probably think I'm international. I often look at my Chinese-Canadian friends, and I feel bad for them. Cause it doesn't seem to matter that much that they've been here their whole lives, but some people view them as Chinese before anything else, and call them "Immigrants" rather than Canadians. And they have been forced to accept that. There's some Chinese girls I like, and we might get along really well, have some real good vibes, but it will never go anywhere, because I can't live in a world, where I'm the only one who doesn't understand Chinese and everyone around me does. Honestly, I would just want to die.

[Anika.]

Well that is sad. I am Canadian too, european tho. I never assume anyone is an immigrant and not born here unless they tell me so. And even then it makes no difference to me, almost all Canadians are here because of immigration at some point in their family. Canadian doesn't equal white. My grandparents also immigrated here. My step dad immigrated from Peru about 10 years ago. My sisters husband immigrated from Vietnam, my other sister's husband imigrated from Germany, so my family has become quite mixed with culture, and I like it. I enjoy learning and sharing back and forth. My step fathers family and my brother in laws family have all become close with my family. My step fathers family speaks little to no english, and my family little to no spanish and yet somehow we have fiqured out how to communicate and care about each other. Same with my brother in laws family, his parents speak very little english and we still forged relationships, they are really lovely special people.

I don't quite understand why you can't truly be friends with these people tho? When I was in school I had many friends from different backgrounds, some east indian, african, asian etc. Some were my best ftiends, true friendship. Are you saying they do not want to be friends with you because of your mixed race?

Some people do separate themselves, and some people do not display acceptance of immigrants. And perhaps both are not accepting of others, which is sad. Lots of people are not like this too tho and will accept any race. Maybe you have to look for people who are more accepting and welcoming? Why wold you just want to die?

[allme]

I had my own cultural barriers while growing up and at school. We were a poor family and lived in an area that was 99% Indian/Asian. That's fine, however, I felt like an outcast. I was the only white girl in my whole year at school and although I made efforts, they were frantically ignored. I never understood what they were saying as they would speak in their language and I was made to feel like a total outsider. I was alone throughout my whole time at school. I am so very bitter about it even now at 32. Don't judge me about being bitter....try being an outsider in your own country of origin. Luckily I had 1 truly great friend outside of school. She was white/English like me and she basically saved my childhood. I hated school. I then went to secondary school where there were white ppl like me...only to be bullied the whole time. Seriously, I had such a terrible time and think it's AWFUL I had to endure such things. At primary school, where I was the only white girl, I would sit by the side fence watching everyone else play....I would go to the toilets and just cry. I tried, I really did try.

[Anika.]

Allme,

I can't see how anyone could judge for feeling bitter about that, that is horrible.

I'm really sorry you had to experience that, and then just experience bullying after that . I am sure you did try, some people you just can't win with and it is really awful that these mentalities exsist out there. When you are a child you don't really have a choice just to not be around people like this. I have been bullied and such, outcast because I was poor or for other reasons. Now that I am an adult and can choose I don't spend time with people that are not accepting of others or bullies. Just cannot be around that. But it's not really an option for children at school.

And how could a teacher not see you crying and alone along the fence and not step in, uggh that just really bothers me that it is allowed to happen at all, or a blind eye turned to it. I'm very sorry that happened.

[Bugeaud]

Re: Anika. I am saying that, if one of friend's friends are Chinese for example, and they all speak Chinese together, than that would be very tough for me. That would just make me very depressed to be the only one who can't understand within a group. Honestly, nowadays I'm trying to peruse everyone equally as a friend. But even if me and someone else get along great, it's not like I can go up to the Korean/Chinese/whatever table in the cafeteria, because if your at that table, people totally expect you to know their language, do you get what I'm saying? They have sort of blocked us and we have blocked them, and I can't do much to change that.

[Confusedinomicon]

I have friends who speak Chinese/Vietnamese and it's never stopped me from being close to them. I'm a halfie and only speak English. I've learned to just deal with them speaking their native language sometimes. If it's important, they'll tell me, otherwise I don't care/don't mind.

I think it's easier for me though because it's a mix of different asian races. I've never really had any success with international folks, though.

I think people want to feel included and if it means hanging out with an ethnic group, they will. I have a taiwanese/american friend who hangs out with white people all the time because he feels more comfortable with them! There are even groups on my college campus for asian americans [broad] and they are primarily 1st generation and speak english as their primarily language. These students bond because of their ethnic background but are american/westernized.

People go to great lengths to feel included. It can be sad. ;(