[jkbob]

I'm not sure how to put this but I'm wondering if a long-term meaningful relationship is possible when you (not necessarily the other person) does not enjoy or look forward to the sex at all. Also is anyone in a relationship like this and were you able to embrace all of the positives and live without a satisfying sex life?experienced

Now before anyone asks I will clarify. He is inexperienced but not without experience and I'm sure if that was the only issue we could work on that and have fun in the process. The biggest problem is physical and one of those things I'm not sure how we could discuss or resolve. I've been with a number of different men of varying sizes and they were all adequate (with one tiny exception). Anyway this person I am with now that I like and could see this developing into something, has a pencil ****. Physically it does nothing for me.

So I'm trying to figure out how important a satisfying physical relationship is over the long-term. I almost feel like I'd be a liar and terrible person if I feigned enjoyment every time for 10 years.

[edward777]

Originally Posted by jkbob

I'm not sure how to put this but I'm wondering if a long-term meaningful relationship is possible when you (not necessarily the other person) does not enjoy or look forward to the sex at all. Also is anyone in a relationship like this and were you able to embrace all of the positives and live without a satisfying sex life?experienced

Now before anyone asks I will clarify. He is inexperienced but not without experience and I'm sure if that was the only issue we could work on that and have fun in the process. The biggest problem is physical and one of those things I'm not sure how we could discuss or resolve. I've been with a number of different men of varying sizes and they were all adequate (with one tiny exception). Anyway this person I am with now that I like and could see this developing into something, has a pencil ****. Physically it does nothing for me.

So I'm trying to figure out how important a satisfying physical relationship is over the long-term. I almost feel like I'd be a liar and terrible person if I feigned enjoyment every time for 10 years.

Do you consider yourself asexual or is this just as issue of size?

[strayllama]

Hello,
I'm sorry that I can't give you any personal experiance being able to "live without a satisfying sex life?". I don't think you would be a terrible person to feigne enjoyment for 10 years, but I certainly think it would cause problems if you did, honesty is the best option for issues this big.

I suggest that you try and find new/different ways to make sex exciting and satisfying. Firstly with a pencil it won't do what others have been able to so you have to discover other things that can equal what you now don't have; that is a whole different thread, needless to say there are many other things you can expand having 'sex' with so that size isn't such an issue.
But hoensty, openness, trial + error and lots of arkward moments - depending on your personalities - are needed. You might find that having to be so open and exposed to each other brings you together in a way normal physical relationships don't.

I have had a sex life that started off incredably akward and thus boring which would have been something I did "not enjoy or look forward to". But by talking my partner and being honest about the situtation, in as sensortive and open way, we got over this and got to know each other much closer than we would have otherwise.

If you both are serious and wanting to make your relationship work I am sure together you can find a way to make it more satisfying for you. I find a physical relationship very important over the long-term, and I hope that you manage to find a way through this.
I hope this helps and I haven't been too off the question...

[jkbob]

Originally Posted by edward777

Do you consider yourself asexual or is this just as issue of size?

Unfortunately this is an issue of size. I just can't imagine being fully satisfied in a relationship without being fully satisfied in the bedroom. I would like to believe otherwise though.

[gayleggg]

I've had that issue and it just didn't do for me. He was very good about making me satisfied, however it still didn't do it for me. For me it was a deal breaker. It just, but it somehow interfered with the intimacy. I just couldn't pretend long term and didnt want to hurt his feelings as I felt that might hurt his self-esteem, so I ended it. It's just me, it was big deal.

[allme]

I think it's possible to have a fulfilling long term relationship without good sex. There are 'other ways' you can show him to bring pleasure anyway. Maybe try toy play and more touching?

Originally Posted by jkbob

Unfortunately this is an issue of size. I just can't imagine being fully satisfied in a relationship without being fully satisfied in the bedroom. I would like to believe otherwise though.

How many inches is he?

Are you able to teach him to bring you to orgasm with his fingers or tongue instead of his penis?

[jkbob]

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

How many inches is he?

Are you able to teach him to bring you to orgasm with his fingers or tongue instead of his penis?

Orgasming in other ways is not an issue and he is very enthusiastic.

There is something about the intimacy of intercourse and it makes me very sad to think that if this were to turn into a long-term committed relationship that this would be a piece that would be forever missing.

He's probably 5 inches or so and no thicker than a very fat thumb, maybe the width of your standard kitchen broom handle at best.

It's terrible and I really don't have anyone to discuss this with and could never talk to him about for fear of hurting his male ego but also his sense of self. Up to this point he believes he's been a fantastic lover. It sorta sucks that he also finishes in about 2 minutes flat ok I should be a little more fair, 5 minutes.

I'm trying so hard not to focus on the sex. I've had great sex and crappy relationships for most of my life. I really want to be in a great relationship and this could be one. But why does his little man have to be so, well... little?

[unaluna]

Yo, bro! Those physical dimensions are what I believe Americans call "average"! The temporal dimension also. That you're having orgasms in spite of all his so-called shortcomings due to his enthusiastic participation - I'm sorry, I just can't be sympathetic! I wish I had been so lucky in my marriages, I might still be married! Man did I settle. I was stupid, stupid, stupid. Not anymore. You have opened my eyes. And shut my mouth!

[jkbob]

Originally Posted by hankster

Yo, bro! Those physical dimensions are what I believe Americans call "average"! The temporal dimension also. That you're having orgasms in spite of all his so-called shortcomings due to his enthusiastic participation - I'm sorry, I just can't be sympathetic! I wish I had been so lucky in my marriages, I might still be married! Man did I settle. I was stupid, stupid, stupid. Not anymore. You have opened my eyes. And shut my mouth!

Oh hankster how I've missed you

Average length is just under 6 inches and average girth is nearly 5 inches. What I'm talking about is something that is close to average in length but about half of what is considered average in width.

Originally Posted by jkbob

Oh hankster how I've missed you

Average length is just under 6 inches and average girth is nearly 5 inches. What I'm talking about is something that is close to average in length but about half of what is considered average in width.

I am sorry that you are having width problems, however this is probably something that can be worked on, as the penis width varies a lot more than length.