[tacoqueen1993]

Everyone gets jealous. Jealously is a normal human emotion, But how we react is what matters. Sometimes I find myself getting so insecure, so god damn hostile, and suspicious of my partners motives for no reason at all. I have flipped out at him for checking out other women in public. No he Isn't drooling and making comments, but at one point I was talking to him, and he wasn't really listening because he was too busy staring at the girl's behind in front of us. He told me he didn't at first, and then later changed the story and told me he wasn't really aware that he was doing It. I was beyond furious It makes me feel uncomfortable, and then he lies about it to my face? Sometimes I get so frustrated with my jealously I no longer want him to talk to certain women.

We were laying in bed once naked we had sex shortly before and he starts texting his "Friend" (who he has slept with before, and i guess she has come on to him many times) while we were laying naked in bed cuddling. I was beyond mad, he didn't really seem to grasp why i was so upset at first. because they are " just friends" She always seemed kind of sketchy and twofaced before, and I was told not to trust her before. she also kind of a stuck up b-i-t-c-h!!! I am just not a fan, so i told him to get rid of her on facebook a long with 2 other girls I'm not a huge fan of, and they aren't a huge fan of me either. One girl I pretty much made him cut of contact with (for what i believe are for good reasons) This girl has been nasty has gone behind my back and said horrible things about me without really knowing me before in the past, I started dating her "bestfriend/brother" from her hometown and I sucked It up, everything was fine at first, I was nothing but nice to her, she even bought me food the first time i seen her since I starting seeing my boyfriend. She would come visit from another city and get drunk with us, and then she started coming over and complaining that my boyfriend doesn't talk to her for hours on the phone anymore like they used to, or that he hasn't gone up to visit. even though he has explained many times how busy, and broke we had been. She got really mad at him a few months later because me and my boyfriend and that girls bestfriend were drinking at the bar down the street, I got mad and took off, my boyfriend obviously chased after me leaving her friend at the bar. We thought she was okay with other friends, and It was literally around the corner. She ignored my boyfriend for a month, started being short with both of us over fb, and then she started bringing my name up in the conversation, and called me "his stupid fu-cking girlfriend" and saying he was making up excuses for me. EVEN THOUGH I WAS NOTHING BUT NICE TO HER FRIEND (this friend had also hooked up with my bf and was upset about her not wanting to be with him, and I didn't really know her, I just knew she was some pretty girl who used to bang my boyfriend) so i felt uncomfortable before and at first, but warmed up to her. So she was brought my name up into it, even though I had nothing to do with it. My boyfriend wanted to talk to her over facebook instead of in person because my birthday was coming up and I thought she had a problem with me, and she never even answered my bf when he asked if she did or not. I didn't want to feel uncomfortable In my own apartment. Anyways long story short... She threw a fit blocked him on fb for awhile, insulted him, unblocked him, we found out she told our roommate we wanted to move out, without us even getting the chance to talk to him first, she caused stress, and drama between me and partner, and then months later she texts him saying "i miss you" NOT EVEN A SORRY ???? i grabbed the phone and I was going to tell her to screw off , and forget his number. My boyfriend got mad, and I shoved him off the bed out of frustration (i know I shouldn't have done that) That broad makes me see red. I made him block her on Facebook.

And the other girl was some self righteous girl who barely knows me, and has been nothing but snobby, She gave my boyfriend the clap on his birthday 2 months or so before we started dating. While we were dating he made a status saying he was going back to his hometown (where she lives) and she was pretty much like WHERE ARE YOU? and wanted to hang out with him. sounded more like a booty call to me? She's known to sleep around (not that there's anything wrong with that I just don't trust her around my boyfriend)

I guess I'm possessive, I don't like It when girls hug my boyfriend, I feel jealous when my boyfriend has friends that are girls, and seem a lot closer to him (It's threatening honestly) Apart of me knows he would never do anything to hurt me, but there's always the voice in the back of my head that tells me otherwise. He's told friends that he wants to talk to that girl who pretty much caused all of that stress between us, but I won't let him. But WHY WOULD HE EVEN WANT TO TALK TO SOMEONE who pretty much treated me and him like ****. She's the kind of girl that expects everyone to give her special treatment and worship the ground she walks on, everything has to be on her terms. I have no time for people like that. Me and my boyfriend also live together, and are together most of the time so anyone that he hangs out with I pretty much hang out with. I always think of the worst possible scenarios in my head. I guess I'm just really scared of loosing him that I almost feel threatened when there's another girl in the picture who I feel is more closer to him on an emotional level.

I have tried to be friends with "girl-friends" but it hasn't really worked out. One of them even so much as came over drank with us, and was flirting with him, playing with his hair, playfully shoving him, and calling attention towards herself from him, and when we got back from the bar she was curled right next to him, he felt uncomfortable, and was annoyed by her, but didn't say anything until later on. so i kind of just sat around feeling really uncomfortable for most of the night, funny thing is too, her boyfriend was also there. and then she started taking her skirt of wearing fishnets, panties, and boots around the apartment, it was awkward, and uncomfortable. I try not to be such a tight ***, but holy crap. I know It's not always his fault, and maybe he didn't intend on it, but all of that made me feel really crummy, and it still gets under my skin sometimes even thinking about It.

I really get worried, because when I feel someone doesn't need me as much as I need them, I start to stray, and I have ruined many relationships before In the past with cheating, and being distant. When I'm with someone I could be at a party with them, and my attention is usually focused on that person, in public, and so on. I don't care about what other people are doing, and I tend to try and please that person. but then over time resentment sits in, and I start finding myself wanting to push myself away, or not give the relationship my all. I don't know why my brain works this way, But it has for a long time. I'm not really sure how I put trust into someone. I have never even been cheated on before, but I have been abandoned, and used by men in my life. I don't even know whats wrong with me, and why I get like this.

[Curious86]

You're not alone. Though you have very valid points for being jealous. Heck if my man was texting another girl after us being intimate I'd kick his behind to the curb. Though I can relate to the out of control outbursts. Honestly, I think you should tell him how awful he makes you feel when he acts in those manners. Jealousy is normal but it seems like he's on the verge of losing your trust.

[NWgirl2013]

To answer the stated question: Yes you are being unreasonably controlling and irrational.

Not everyone gets jealous. When you are secure in yourself and your worth to yourself and others, maybe you will realize this.

[healingme4me]

I do feel it sounds like your jealousy/insecurity is something to put in check because it will destroy you and everyone around you.

At the same time, texting someone else, while lying together naked?! Oh, come on!! I'd be rip roaring MAD!!! Now, that is something completely unacceptable, on his part!

[~Christina]

From your numerous posts about your relationship with him it all screams out .. T.O.X.I.C. !!!

There seems to be very little respect from either of you to be honest from what you have described.. There can not be love with out respect. Your extreme jealously is only going make you feel worse and worse.

I hope your able to work on your self esteem and realize what is a healthy grown up adult relationship and what is just a train wreck.

Good luck in whatever you decide