[Lonely_90]

I am so so so in love with my Boyfriend, I think about marraige and kids. I cannot see myself with anyone else. Only problem is, we argu all the time, almost every day. Some arguments are worse then others. I do everything I can to make him happy, he says I do to much?? I dont know what I do wrong.

I feel like I have to walk on Egg Shells around him, make sure that I say the correct thing at the right time. I have not quite figured out how to talk to him, I am an emotional thinker, I think of the what ifs, he is a "brian" thinker, and is stuck in the past. I hate feeling like if I say something wrong its going to be an argument and hes going to say hurtful things to me. Sometimes he brings me to the point that I say hurtful things to him, I hate getting to that point because I know my words hurt him more then his will ever hurt me, when he says hurtful things to me they are out of anger, and mostly just things he knows are going to hurt me, when I say them they are from the heart, and things that in normal conversation I would never bring up in fear of starting up an argument.

I dont want to live like this, I want to be able to communicate effectively with him and STOP most of the arguments, I just dont know how to do it, I feel like no matter what way I go with the conversations it will be wrong. I feel like I cannot breath when we argu, he always runs, ive learned that about him and he has told me several times. Do I need to just keep my mouth shut, do I need to not be afraid and just let him be mad??? Do I need to walk away from the situation when we argu and just say NO IM NOT ARGUING CALL ME WHEN YOU ARE READY TO TALK, I dont know what to do, But i cannot live like this, Its stressing me to the max. I need answers... From him, from sombody, why he is the way he is.

Im so scared to lose him, I cant lose him. I think communication is what we lack . I NEED IT FIXED

[Travelinglady]

What I am thinking is maybe you could both go talk to a counselor about this problem. I agree that a marriage would not work out if the people are having such problems even before they get married. I am concerned.

If he willl not go with you, then you might try going alone. However, honestly, if he won't, then I think that would be a bad sign.

Let's see what other people say, though.

[~Christina]

I agree Therapy ... If he doesn't want to go then as Payne said .. Go yourself. Learning how to communicate with loved ones isn't an automatic thing . It takes work on both sides.

It's easy to love love love someone and be scared to lose them but... That often leads to very unhealthy emotional problems. Maybe for now just stop thinking of long term things like marriage and kids , Maybe that is making this worse for you.

Good luck

[Buddy17]

hi me too having same problem in my love.. don't stay near to him when argument seems to be worst.. just hug him and say sorry.. after that he will ask apologies.. he wont let you at any cost dear. after that you will feel it will work.. Just try once.. you can stop argument and counting number in heart.. you will be cool and give one smile by saying sorry.. definitely he will convenience if he loves you more...

[jadzea]

Walking away from an argument is not a bad way of dealing with it. I remember once I was furious with my H and had worked myself up for a huge fight. He looked at me, told me he was not going to fight and walked out the door. I was dumbfounded. I had so much energy worked up that I had to jump up and down to get rid of it.

My H and I used to argue a lot also. Finally one day we both agreed that we did not like fighting and made a decision to stop doing it. Now we talk about things and discuss things. If one of us raises our voice the other one says, "are you upset with me?" That often makes the person realize they are upset with the situation, not the person. Also, we make sure we talk after we have calmed down from whatever made us angry in the first place. Also, when one of us says something that is not very nice we will remind each other that we love each other more than anyone else and this is not the way to treat someone you love.

I would be concerned if you have to worry about his reaction to whatever you so or how you say it. You cannot be afraid to talk when he is around. You are an American and have the right to free speech. I would tell him I cannot worry about his reaction to everything I say and I didn't want to hear his comments about them. I bet he stops and thinks before he reacts, at least for a time being.