How to make friends?

I'm still new here, so maybe there is already a thread on this, but how do you go about making new friends? Once you're finished school, and in the working world, how do you meet people & actually befriend them? I've been told to volunteer and meet people with similar interests (I end up doing all the work and resenting the "help" others are giving me), take a course (I'm there to learn), or join a group to exercise with (I don't exercise, except walking dogs). Other than placing a creepy ad on craiglist or hanging out in bars, how do you meet new people? I'd love to know.

My friends come from the people I work with. I'm really outgoing at work and will talk to anyone and eventually find folks that want to go to the game or check out the melodrama or whatnot.

Although ... a creepy ad on Craigslist sounds like a cool idea ... hmmm ...

I don't think there's any magic formula. All my friends ( apart from at school) were made through work and once i'd changed jobs i lost touch. So were they really friends?. Probably not. Certainly the older you get ( i'm 57) and esp if you stay single the harder it is to make friends. I don't have any friends. You don't sound any where near 57; so be nice to people, talk to people, join clubs, be interested in people and you'll just have to see what happens. I like to think i do all those but, as i said, i've ended up with no friends. so i hope you have better luck.

True friends are hard to make. Real true friends come from your childhood or someone you meet along the way you really have thinks in common with that really like you and appreciate you for who you really are and don't want anything from you but your friendship. If you want a real friend look for that, now on the hand if you just want someone to hangout with and and have a good time join a club go play bingo get some co-works together an have dinner find a dance to go to arrange a movie outing with them co-works that is. Hope this helps a bit. Take care my friend I no it will all work out for ya.

Wish I knew. I have no friends at all. I too am out of school and just working now. Even worse, I work nights, so there is no possibility of having a social life. I've never had any friends, no girlfriends, not even a date. I try to do things like go out to bars, go to singles events, go to the gym and exercise, but it seems there is just nobody out there. I wish there were more cool people in the world

Just be yourself and let people come to you.

I've worked that out before, living a simple life...

getting a job? joining a community of any kind? volunteering? one can't ask for them, that's for sure.

I don't have any friends either and I volunteer and attend church regularly, etc. most of the people I know I know through my fiancé and they're his friends not mine and that has been made plain to me. People I work with only talk to me to get me to do things for them or give them money. If I'm in need they don't know me. So my answer is I don't know and thanks for letting me rant

It's hard but it is possible. I'm really introverted, so I have to step way outside my comfort zone. I use meetup.com regularly. I'm lucky I live in a big city so there a gazillion different groups. I've joined some that are purely social, and they organize things like dinners or lunches out, games nights, bingo, kareoke etc., I found a bookclub that I go to monthly, a bowling group that meets monthly, and just recently a meditation group. It's great because everyone is there for the event, or the food, is looking to make friends so is friendly and it's absolutely not a dating site unless you join one of the dating groups. After you go to a few events you get to see the same people, and get to know them a bit, and then you can start suggesting meeting for coffee people you think you'd like to get to know a bit better.

Good luck.

splitimage

I always make friends at work.

Generally just doing things like volunteering or going places isn't enough. You have to be confident and assertive and talk to people, it's just the way it is. The main reason extroverts tend to have more friends is because they enjoy socializing and just talk to randoms. I only have one good friend, but I'm sure I could make more if I actually started striking up conversations with people at work/university.

The main places people get their friends are from their workplace, so just start a conversation with someone and talk about things that interest both of you. Most people who miss out on friends, such as myself, do so because they don't talk to anyone, even when they're in a social setting, and thus they leave not having made any new friends. So just put yourself out there and start talking to people at work/school/wherever.

"talk to randoms"? yeah that is a sign of immaturity according to me

I think that was pretty uncalled for. TheNextOne was offering suggestions; there's no need to be insulting, and especially no need to make a post devoted to it.

Crazyincanda, you mention walking your dog. What about taking your dog to a dog park? Maybe there are other dog related events in your area. I've seen flyers for road races with your dog and a few other things (not having a dog, I don't tend to pay attention to them, so I can't be super specific).

And I have a side question. For those of you who have tried meetup... How'd you get the nerve up to go to the first one?

I'm currently in 2 meetup.com groups, but I haven't gone to anything yet. All of their meetups are not very plausible for me. They do events VERY far away from me, like several large cities away, so it would be difficult. Also, they do events that I would probably not participate in. One of these days though, I will force myself to go to one. I was once told a saying: "You get out of life what you put into it". And it's true. If you hide away in your home, you can't expect anything to happen good for you. You have to put in the effort to meet people. (I'm saying this, but I am guilty of hermit-ing myself off from the world). I know what I need to do, it is just the doing part of it that is holding me back. I guess I'm afraid.

I agree there was no need for that 'man with no friends'. Fine if you don't want friends but don't insult people who are trying to help. I talk to 'randoms' all the time. In the supermarket, in the street, on here wherever. Obviously not in a crazy way and if i get no response i just leave it. But some you end up having a nice chat with and who's knows you might see em again.
I've joined the local camera club and yes it does take a certain amount of nerve to go to the first one. But whats the alternative.? Last week someone said something to me to almost cause me not to go again. But i went weds and enjoyed it, so i'm not going to cut off my nose to spite my face.

I know exactly what you mean Sadley. But like i said in the other post you gotta force yourself , even if it's uncomfortable or costs a few £/$. I would go to an astronomy and writing groups too but they are all on the same day GRR!!!!. Maybe you could see if anyone goes by car from where you live and you could share gas/petrol money.

I never intended to insult, it's just my honest opinion that "talking to randoms" is not the right thing to do unless you really need to (cause you're lost or something). Or maybe it depends on how "random" is defined. I wouldn't call cashiers at a store or restaurant "randoms" cause talking to them is plainly routine, you don't need to get to know them and they also wouldn't want to chat just for the sake of it!

I'm not sure about the rest of the world, but I know in different places in US, it is very common for people to talk to one another on the street. And in others, it's pretty taboo. So maybe where you are, it's simply not done. But in some places, it is. Even if you're not making friends with these people, it generally feels good to socialize with someone friendly, even if it's just a 30 second conversation.