[MelissaE76]

Well I dont kno if anyone else has a issue withthis. But I thought I would throw it out there. I am 36 soon to be 37 next month and Ive had sereval Boyfriends in and out of my life some good some really not so good.

I problem is I guesss I draw not the greatest guys into my life and it seems like all of them that I have had in my life do not understand me. Maybe Im not giving them the chance and proly harder on myself then they are and I tend to Push them away as soon as I think things are going TOO GOOD and I convince myself that I kno something is gonna go wrong and I dont want to be there for it so I ditch the guy.

I dont want to be alone for the rest of my life but its looking like I will be. Guys scared me or maybe I should say I scare myself becuz I dont want to them know what really goes on inside of me in fear that they will pick up and leave. Crazy I know.

I tend to hurt them before they get a chance to hurt me. then after they are gone i regret it. I dont give guys a chance to get to know the real me anyways. The one that struggles daily with self image issues the one that sits in front of a plate of food and numbers go through the head.

Sorry rambling now.

Melissa

[manwithnofriends]

there's nothing wrong with being single, you can still have friends (but don't ask for them)

[curley]

Originally Posted by MelissaE76

Well I dont kno if anyone else has a issue withthis. But I thought I would throw it out there. I am 36 soon to be 37 next month and Ive had sereval Boyfriends in and out of my life some good some really not so good.

I problem is I guesss I draw not the greatest guys into my life and it seems like all of them that I have had in my life do not understand me. Maybe Im not giving them the chance and proly harder on myself then they are and I tend to Push them away as soon as I think things are going TOO GOOD and I convince myself that I kno something is gonna go wrong and I dont want to be there for it so I ditch the guy.

I dont want to be alone for the rest of my life but its looking like I will be. Guys scared me or maybe I should say I scare myself becuz I dont want to them know what really goes on inside of me in fear that they will pick up and leave. Crazy I know.

I tend to hurt them before they get a chance to hurt me. then after they are gone i regret it. I dont give guys a chance to get to know the real me anyways. The one that struggles daily with self image issues the one that sits in front of a plate of food and numbers go through the head.

Sorry rambling now.

Melissa

Wow Melissa, sounds like you have real trust issues. Life is good and bad and sometimes we get hurt. We get over the hurt and we learn and grow from those experiences. If you do not let someone know you then how can they ever love you, for you, and how can you ever love someone who has not had the chance to know you. Like I said you may get hurt, you may not, but this is all part of LIFE!