[albert.anthony81]

I have no trouble meeting or saying hi to girls... but lose confidence in the dating "process" because am always nitpicking on cost of the date silently.. I am pretty sure they notice this so it makes me not want to date... but am in my early 30s and really need to get the ball rolling!

So I live in the nyc area... VERY high cost of living. I work here and work does not pay enough to really afford a vivid social life. And dont say quit and find something else.. I did that before and I spent 6 months "interviewing" and playing the resume game, only to get turned away.

So I am sick of having to constantly worry about money... and having it get in the way of relationships. It has caused a few disputes with a few girls last year that may have otherwise become my serious girlfriend.

I am trying to start a web biz soon to make more money... and in my other post I asked advice on which one would you folks start if you had the choice?

I am debating whether to launch a travel website where I make money on commission whenever I sell a luxury travel package.... OR a website hosting business, where I make a steady monthly fee each month, for selling web hosting plans to small business. They can both be run from home in my spare time, as I must continue to keep my dayjob in the travel industry... which is most of my experience.

I am really eager to hear your advice!!!! My parents give 0 advice on anything. My old man simply does not have the empathy or understanding.
So I must turn to online forums. and yes this is obviously a psych issue. In 3 years I have launched 4 FAILED web startups, making 0 money, and not sure how to make it work this time.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO??? help!!

[Travelinglady]

Hello and welcome to Psych Central!

I am not an expert on such Internet matters, but I like the appeal of a steady income rather than having to wait (and hope) for a commission once I sell something.

As far as money and dating, I started dating seriously in my thirties and had a good job, so I told my date that I would pay my own way! (Then he would not expect any "payback" for the costs, too.)

I am thinking you could explain to your date that your money is tight and you need to be frugal--so would it be okay to go on less expensive dates? Even go to the park with a picnic, etc. I would think a woman who is really interested in you would be understanding. And, ideally, volunteer to pitch in with costs.

Ladies, would that turn you off totally? Am I the only one who likes to think about the man's finances?

Originally Posted by PAYNE1

Hello and welcome to Psych Central!

I am not an expert on such Internet matters, but I like the appeal of a steady income rather than having to wait (and hope) for a commission once I sell something.

As far as money and dating, I started dating seriously in my thirties and had a good job, so I told my date that I would pay my own way! (Then he would not expect any "payback" for the costs, too.)

I am thinking you could explain to your date that your money is tight and you need to be frugal--so would it be okay to go on less expensive dates? Even go to the park with a picnic, etc. I would think a woman who is really interested in you would be understanding. And, ideally, volunteer to pitch in with costs.

Ladies, would that turn you off totally? Am I the only one who likes to think about the man's finances?

I totally 'get' frugal...I have to be, always have. But I loathe 'cheap' and there is a huge difference.

Frugal is taking a date to the park or the zoo....museum etc...something not expensive and maybe pack a lunch (depending on venue)

Cheap is taking a date to a restaurant and making faces when food is ordered, or when the tip is not forthcoming because the waitress / waiter is 'just doing their job'.

Cheap is making the date feel self-conscious about the date and the one being dated. Frugal is being pleased to be in the company of the dated, without stress.

The difference is noticible and will ultimately lead to fewer, if any dates with a cheap person...unless the datee is equally cheap. Which should make for some interesting conversations regarding how many squares one really needs from a roll of toilet paper to do the job. But I digress.....

[lsamson]

Hey Albert,

As for the dating side of your question, you don't need to spend a lot of money to go on dates. If it is your first date with a girl I recommend going for a walk in the park, having a coffee, go to the beach... etc. This way you don't spend much money at all and then if you go on a second date with her you can take her out and spend a little money. Doing this will stop you from spending money on every single date when you are unsure you like the girl or she likes you, you go on the first free date and then if it kicks off well you go on a second more lavish date.

As for internet marketing have a look at the website viperchill.com . It is run by a guy called Glen Allsop who has really useful advice on there and some really great guides. Also check out backlinko.com , there is some great advice on SEO there which is essential for any small internet business.

If you want some more advice send me a private message and I may be able to help you out.

Cheers, Luca Samson