[Aiuto]

I thought I had a really close {loving{ friendship/relationship with this guy that has been there for me and my kids before I got my life flipped around from an accident and now have diagnosis after diagnosis. A lot of mental diagnosis and physical trauma.

Yesterday he said some things that I took as emotional abuse(maybe because I am VERY fragile)He told me that I have thin skin, I am my worst enemy, and that I he is just infatuated in me???? I would think after so long that infatuation would turn into love or caring? I am so angry that I wasted so much time with him for disappointment and my kids are like what's going on?

How can someone be infatuated and be so insensitive after so many years? Is it because he knew he was my only help financially or just turning into control?

And to top it off my husband passed away 10years ago on November 3

[Lonely_90]

I am so sorry you are going through this, It is very hard to love someone, and that person dose not love you back. I was in a 4 year relationship where I was in love, but he wasnt and he never would be. It took me about 6 months to actually get up the courage to leave. It hurt, I spent a lot of nights crying myself to sleep, blaming myself for staying so long, I fooled myself into believe it would be more then it would ever be ( I tend to do that with everything I do), He told me at the very beginning that he didnt want to be with me in that way, but I held on. I dont blame him, I dont hate him, but I had to move on . Now that I am in another relationship that is mutual in love, although its not the best relationship I hold on tightly not letting it slip through my fingers. I know that after losing your Husband, you never thought you would find someone, and when you did, you did the same as me, you are holding on. I know its hard to hear that Im sorry.

Some men are just not sensitive, they do not understand female and all of our emotions. Hang in there, have a serious talk with him and let him know how you feel, and what you want to become of the relationship, if you both are on different pages, it might be time to start detaching, its a long process. Baby steps.

Best Wishes

[curley]

Dear Aiuto, You are probably going to be upset with what I write too cause from what you wrote it does kind of sound like you get your feeling hurt to easily. Telling someone that they are their own worst enemy is not necessarily mean. Maybe you should take a look at your behavior.
Sorry, but that is what I see from reading this. If he has been helping you financially and been their for you then he must care. Maybe your behaviors have kept him from falling in love I do not know. But I would think you would appreciate him for helping as much as he has.
I am so sorry you lost your husband, that must have been very difficult especially since you have children. I dont know if it is because the anniversary of his death is sad. Or if you are still so devastated. I got that from the way you said plus my husband passed away (10 years ago). I am not trying to be rude or cold but if you are still grieving maybe you could join a group or see a counselor to help you get over those feelings. I am not saying you should not miss your husband but grieving after 10 years puts a lot on you and your kids.
Good Luck to you.