Unlovable

I'm 47 years old and besides spoken by other family members I've never heard the words, "I Love you." spoken to me. I've pretty much accepted the fact that I'll never be in a intimate, special, mind-blowing relationship. I know I'm screwed up with my depression-mood issues which also effect my self-esteem and confidence. Also, I'm no Brad Pitt or Robert Redford, nor do I aspire to be. I try not to let my illness define who I am, but it's tough at times and if you're somewhat introverted to begin with, many people view it as being stuck up. I guess it's possible that some of us are meant to go through life without ever finding "The One". Maybe, I'm just one of those "Lone Wolf" types.

Yeah not fair mate is it. I know i could offer a woman a lot. I've got my own house, money, own teeth. interesting if somewhat quirky personality., lots of love to give etc etc. Most ( i'd guess 95%- works both ways though ) dont look beyond the physical first appearance and trying to find the other 5% is like finding a needle in a haystack. Still it's as much their loss as it is mine cos i think i'm a great guy but hey im 57 so wont have too much longer before im not here at all danke Gott.

Don't give up. You never know who might be around the corner.

A lady that I worked with turned 70 one week and got married the next.

It ain't over till it's over.

Haha yeah right. I'm an optomist too but i'm also a realist. I know you didn't mean to be patronizing but yeah right. We both know the reality.

I consider myself a realist too, but those around me think it's just an excuse for being pessimistic. Most people today covet material items rather than what could be a really one of a kind relationship. Guess that's why so many marriages end in divorce. Thanks for your input!

funny, just the other day I addressed this topic in a poem I published on booksie.com.

here is the link:
Can I be loved? - Romance Poetry - Romance, Heart, Poetry - Booksie

You and me are true romantics aren't we. Trouble is for all the flowery verse and lyrical prose the pragmatic truth is ( i'll speak for myself here) girls/women take one look at me and a) dismiss me as if i'm not there or b)say yeah right as if, next. If you're as ugly as me the the chances of finding someone are slim to nil. so don't patronise me and say otherwise. This song came to mind. It's funny but hides a simple truth.All my loves are destined to be unrequited.
Loudon Wainwright Iii - Unrequited To The Nth Degree Lyrics.

yes we are, worst line given to me when I was in my early 30's I asked out a woman in my apartment building, and I didn't know how old she was but I assumed 20's anyway she told me " I don't want to date my father" that one hurt the worst. and yes I am no "beefcakes" either.

Wouldn't life, be great, if outward appearances weren't the first thing, we saw, in one another?
Wouldn't, life be better, getting to know, one another, based on what's inside, first?

On a flip side, sometimes, being pretty and cute, leads to a sense of being considered a trophy/possession, with no appreciation to the depth, of what lies, underneath.

Sending you all a big batch of virtual {{{HUGS}}}

Keeping your hopes and dreams, in my thoughts. May you one day, meet someone who transends shallow.....

Sent from my LG-MS910 using Tapatalk 2

I used to be like have a great sence of humor and you're in my book!!!!I think looks are decieving, there are alot of jerks out there, and i didn;t care what you looked like before i was married but make me laugh all day and i'll love you forever, i just love to laugh.

Welcome to my world. People...men, see me and think..wow she's too pretty for me...and don't give me a chance...the so called 'handsome' men are busy with their 'handsome' women....and I get lost in the shuffle...when all I just want is someone to love me...how pathetic is that?????

Just because a woman is good looking does NOT mean she automatically is happy or has someone.....sometimes she's just as lonely as you are

but we all need an ear that will listen, a shoulder to cry on, and two loving arms to hold us until the shakes have passed..... (excerpt from An Angel fell to earth A Love Story)

I'm all too familiar with feeling unlovable; it has haunted me for as long as I can remember . However, in the last 12 months I have done a considerable amount of self-reflection and work on myself, and my life is unrecognizable since I was last on PC . Now I have a couple awesome friends and I am even in a relationship with a woman! Who would have thought that could happen?!

One thing I can definitely say is that the relationship I have came out of nowhere; it was totally unexpected and a real surprise to me . We met through my blog on the Internet (we are both politically active). Unlike when I was searching for a relationship on dating websites and when I was out, I connected with her doing what I loved to do, and that is writing articles and being active in politics. I truly believe we were meant to meet each other .

As hard as it is don't dwell on feeling unlovable and alone . Get outside and do what makes you feel good and everything else will come into place.

That's why I stick to the cliché, of when you stop 'looking' it happens.

Yes, there is definitly a downside and I just wanted you to know I get where you're coming from. My first bf asked me out after drooling for months, thinking I was out of his league (his words not mine) and proceeded to treat me as a trophy for years. Seriously he would verbalize wanting to parade me to new friend or colleagues. That relationship turned sour, toxic and in the end abusive...

Besides my current bf whom I've known half my life? Nobody approaches me, and when I was lonely and did some discreet enquiring, it was apparantly because men assumed I was taken or unapproachable and I'm not even "up there" on the scale of looks.

So I just wanted to say I hear you Kathy.

To the OP, I am also a realist and I can definitely see why you say and feel the things you do, but I'm also cursed with an irritating lil thing called hope

I've found that its true that we usually find what we need when we are not seeking, when we least expect it, and when we are most ready to receive it.

Please don't consider yourself unlovable because the women you've encountered thus far are too shallow to look past looks.

That's a reflection of them, not you.

as for me, I have lost all hope. and like it mentions in one of the poems I wrote:

"after half a century I weary of the hunt".

I think there is someone for everyone and a lot of times that someone comes to you when you stop looking...?? But what do I know? Been married half my life and hello? I am only 34. My husband balances me though and we are close because of tragedies we have faced together. He just weathers the storm a lot better than I do