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#1
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I wish I went out tonight, done something better than sitting at home in front of computer, went out with a friend. But the truth is, I don't really have anyone in my life I would really consider a true friend. I used to have a best buddy, we could hang out anytime, and I never really felt lonely even if I was depressed. Now, I'm really wishing I had someone like that again. There's this guy, and I thought we were friends. But he never invites me to anything, or asks how I'm doing, and I've just given up cause I don't want to be the only one trying. There's this girl I know, and we're really friendly in class, and she always cheers up my day. But I'm scared, cause in the past I always screw things up with girls, friendship or romantically; I always end up acting like an idiot and being too embarrassed to ever talk to her again. I want to have a party, and invite all my school friends, and have it be an awesome party. But on second thought, I just think to myself "That's the worst idea ever, I know that everyone hates me in reality, and the party would be so lame, everyone would hate me even more afterward." And maybe that's not true, but when I think about any social interaction, that's the kind of thing I think of. I want to have friends. I want to actually do somethings, like go shopping with them or go eat out. But it just feels like, maybe I can become friends with one person, but they won't let me into their social circle, so what's the point? So I don't even know what to do with my life now. I just feel like crap all the time and I don't have anyone to lean on in my life. Lately I've been trying so hard, but then I end up really disappointed in the end. I'm thinking, "Maybe I should of never tried, complacency doesn't hurt this much."
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![]() Anonymous37807, Hunter Storm, I am human, Idealsummerluvv, optimize990h, sonnenschein
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![]() Hunter Storm, seed11
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#2
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"want to have friends"? correct your thinking. who wants to be friends with someone who doesn't have any? Yes, I know it's stigmatising but don't try to be someone you're not, you can easily be "outed" (like homosexuality) and it won't do you any good. Accepting is the best way forward, that way you turn a "problem" that you have into something you feel proud about, and no one can judge you on it (well if they do, that's their problem, not yours).
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A "Stephen Hawking institute of technology"? That's ****! |
![]() Gus1234U
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#3
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when you have nothing,,, GIVE. look for someway you can help others. it may not bring you friends, but it will give life some meaning, and you some self esteem, and that is the kind of person people want for a friend.
i know it's hard to get out when one is depressed, so maybe there is something you can do online. helping tutor home schooled kids, or answering letters for a charity~ explore your own interests and the opportunities in your community and focus on helping others. i found it was one of the best ways to help myself at the same time. ![]() best wishes~ Gus
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AWAKEN~! |
#4
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Wow, you have described my life exactly.... are you sure that you are not me? I have no friends. I find it hard to trust. If I can't trust myself how can I trust others? I am very socially awkward, which is part of my problem. Your not alone, I'm in the same boat as you. I feel lonely 24/7 and my depression causes me bad chest pains and I always feel like I'm imploding. I think this will sound stupid but... I was wondering if we can connect, some how. Your life situation is a lot like mine. I hope I don't sound stupid or desperate. Your not alone and I know I'm not either now.
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#5
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Thanks everyone.
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![]() Gus1234U
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#6
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Hi there
Hi Bugeaud and Hunter Storm, I feel a little(?) like you, but the difference is that I'm a little schyzoid/schyzotypal (I always confuse the two), and I feel great alone, I rarely feel any need to be with people or to socialize or to share feelings. I used to have friends and romantic relationships but then the things got akward, and after some years struggling with the lonelyness I learned to accept myself and don't blame myself for my situation, and now I'm seeking for help in order to be "normal" again. Bugeaud: if you're depressed, like, deseased (there are other types of depressions, like reactional-or something like this), you should seek for a professional. Of course you can get a bit better by yourself, by doing things, anything that you enjoy and keeps you distracted from self pity: something like helping others, sports, studies, etc. My best wishes for you. |
![]() Hunter Storm
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![]() Hunter Storm
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