[seneca5]

I initially posted this in the depression forum...but it appears this is a more appropriate place because I am not clinically depressed.

18 months ago I broke up with my girlfriend of several years. I was no longer "in love" with her but I have a lot of regret now. I feel like I may have jumped the gun a little bit and maybe with more work I could have regained my love for her. What's worse is that she was my best friend and I miss her terribly; she will have nothing to do with my (and I certainly don't blame her for that). We haven't spoken since the breakup (which was really, really bad). I feel terrible about the way I treated her; I feel terrible about everything I have done. I feel as if I make a ton of mistakes in my life, and that this is one of the biggest regrets I will carry with me to the grave.

The regret has worsened as time has passed. Worst of all, I just miss her companionship. She was a very smart woman...she was the best conversationalist I have ever been with; we are both readers. I miss sharing books, etc. She has moved on and I am very happy for her...I hope that the new man in her life can provide her the happiness that I failed to provide her.

I know I have only myself to blame. I know I should just man up and deal with it. But I just needed to let this out.

[gayleggg]

I can feel your pain. I did the same thing. 18 years ago and the memory of what I lost still hurts, but it does get better. I have moved on but will always regret what might have been had I not been so stupid.

[turquoisesea]

I'm sorry the relationship didn't work out. But over time maybe this too shall pass, you'll feel better. It sounds like there were some definite problems in the relationship. It's easy to forget about those looking back... but breakups happen for reasons - maybe you both just weren't ready. Maybe, for the next relationship you WILL be ready =)

[seneca5]

Are there any coping suggestions? I have some very sad days.

[Lonely_90]

Try and realize that you might not of been the best for her, and now that shes happy, you need to be happy to. Do things you like and keep your mind off of that relationship. DO NOT REBOUND it will make it worse and hurt someone else in the process. Just take a few months to yourself, someone will come along. If shes your friend on social networks delete her, delete her number so you cant see her. The sting will never go away until you find something else to fill the void.

Good Luck

[sporster2k7]

Ive travelled that road also.Ive had many failed relationships in my past and a marriage that ended in divorce.All along I pushed people away from me.I pushed all my friends away from me.I didnt know what was wrong with me.I tried counseling,gone to alanon meetings and nothing helped me.My wife who I cherish is a RN,she pointed me to this sight where I was able to take the tests.I failed a good number of them.I made an appointment with a dr who diagnosed me with bipolar and depression.Ive lived this hell for 51 years.Im so glad after all this time i finally fond oud what is wrong with me.I dont ever want to go back there,

[TatorTot]

I struggle badly with regrets, if I stay focused on them I can cry for days. For me I have to work on forgiving myself, moving on and knowing it wasn't meant to be or it would have worked out. One day at a time!! I truly think regret fades away but it is always lurking in the back of your mind as "what ifs"

I cope by not dwelling on it and finding other things to think about! like today, the present and the future.

[seneca5]

Today is particularly bad. I miss this person terribly. I know I was bad for her, and by breaking up with her I gave her the gift of the ability to pursue a life she truly deserves. However, I feel particularly sad today.