[holdsback]

Today I felt immensely stupid at the end of the day.

I spent the greater part of the day not feeling like I was worth much more then the money I bring into my marriage. I heard all week from people that I am wrong in one way or another. It starts to build on me rather quickly.

Today I think it came to a head. I was being led into conversation that I know I get heated in. I don't like something I said I hated it. That strong dislike of something led to one of my husbands closes friends disagreeing with me all I heard was "WELL YOUR WRONG AND HERE IS WHY". That is all I ever head from this guy. I was trying to end the conversation and I said I was done talking about it, he kept going, he lead in saying "Well I am more open-minded."

That there, that right there really burst my bubble and I just had to walk away, out of the room. Now my husband is furious with me said I embarrassed him and myself. The way I see it was I was walking away from something that could have gotten much worse.

My husband says that the argument was far more on my side and his friend was being level headed. I could see that, but all I could hear was "YOUR WRONG, AND NOT OPEN MINDED SO THEREFORE A BAD PERSON." I know that is not what he was saying, I know that but that is all I heard.

[NWgirl2013]

No, not stupid. Learning. About yourself, about your limits. About how to handle yourself. It does take practice to learn diplomacy.
I would say it sounds like you did a good job by walking away when you know it could have gotten worse. You lessened the damage this way. So, well done you, for that.
As you continue to practice these skills, remember that no one can make anything come out of your mouth but you. And... that a smile, and saying absolutely nothing can go a long way sometimes when someone is being what sounds like a blow hard, like your H's friend. He was trying to engage you and you were smart enough to see it coming. Now you know. Be ready next time to disarm him with your charm & wit.
You weren't stupid.

[holdsback]

Thanks NWgirl, I feel like I was in the right by just walking away. I know it was probably embarrassing but it felt like the only thing I had in my power to do to change the situation. My H said to just try to change the subject next time, but I was so far gone as in upset that I felt like I couldn't.

Originally Posted by NWgirl2013

No, not stupid. Learning. About yourself, about your limits. About how to handle yourself. It does take practice to learn diplomacy.
I would say it sounds like you did a good job by walking away when you know it could have gotten worse. You lessened the damage this way. So, well done you, for that.
As you continue to practice these skills, remember that no one can make anything come out of your mouth but you. And... that a smile, and saying absolutely nothing can go a long way sometimes when someone is being what sounds like a blow hard, like your H's friend. He was trying to engage you and you were smart enough to see it coming. Now you know. Be ready next time to disarm him with your charm & wit.
You weren't stupid.

[gayleggg]

You did do the right thing. I have relatives that when certain subjects come up I have to walk away. I know I will never change their mind and it isn't worth the effort.

I don't even think that it should have been embarrassing for you, you avoided an argument and that is good. You are certainly not stupid, I would say rather smart to do what you did.
Way to go.

[healingme4me]

you had a long hard week. Then your husbands friend, just had to get, 'confrontational'? Sounds like, he wanted to 'debate' something, hence, 'you're wrong, let me count the ways', and he's more open minded, which these days, it's insulting to be referred to as close minded.
So, husband was embarrasssed because, of what, again? Clearly, didn't tell his friend, to back off.

Would it had been better, to stand there and 'shut down', which is equivalent of walking away.

Walking away, good call

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