[jeff8moore99]

Hi, with all due respect I am going to just cut to the chase. Have seen many threads that are too drawn out. I am a married woman who believes in having good strong Christian Morals and Beliefs. However myself and my husband are addicted to porn. It is not the softcore stuff either. I must admit I was addicted to it before but then "got over it". Recently there was an issue in our marriage and I felt one of the ways to try bring things back together was by opening our minds sexually. Yes it was a slight cheating issue on his part, So in essence I fought to get him back to me using the sexual side. It has worked, however I now feel guilty about the way I am going about it. I am by no means saying its all on him as I am the one who looks at it more. That way I feel I have a headstart for want of a better word. I do hope I have not offended anyone in reading this but that is the blatant honest truth. Any advice, help or suggestions are very much appreciated. Thanks so much.

Originally Posted by jeff8moore99

Hi, with all due respect I am going to just cut to the chase. Have seen many threads that are too drawn out. I am a married woman who believes in having good strong Christian Morals and Beliefs. However myself and my husband are addicted to porn. It is not the softcore stuff either. I must admit I was addicted to it before but then "got over it". Recently there was an issue in our marriage and I felt one of the ways to try bring things back together was by opening our minds sexually. Yes it was a slight cheating issue on his part, So in essence I fought to get him back to me using the sexual side. It has worked, however I now feel guilty about the way I am going about it. I am by no means saying its all on him as I am the one who looks at it more. That way I feel I have a headstart for want of a better word. I do hope I have not offended anyone in reading this but that is the blatant honest truth. Any advice, help or suggestions are very much appreciated. Thanks so much.

I am not sure what "slight cheating" means at all. In my mind you either cheat or you don't. So can you elaborate on this description?

It is all on him, when it comes to the cheating, in my definition it means to sexually act outside of the marriage with another partner. Whether it be physical sex or phone or online skype sex it's still cheating. Not one part of this is "on you"

You are responsible for your part in the porn, sure, in the sense that if you feel you are doing wrong, you are. But in and of itself, Porn is in no way something that necessitates cheating by any party. This is not to say anything of whether some peopl think porn itself is cheating already. What I mean is, porn does not necessarily lead to one wanting to cheat, if that is what you're alluding to.

[Travelinglady]

Hello and welcome to Psych Central! I'm not sure what you are asking. Hubby and I have seen porn, even more than once at my suggestion--but I don't recommend it as a way of really drawing a couple together. We haven't viewed any in years. I am not addicted to it and could go the rest of my life without it. And, gee, the plots are skimpy......(I am talking more about movies than mags, although we have done both.)

I really don't see it as a healthy behavior, since it is not depicting a love relationship between people who are married. And I feel like the people are just using each other.

I certainly don't like the idea of stepping outside the marriage. To me that would not be a good, moral thing to do. It definitely goes against the not commiting adultery part in Christianity.

Is that what you were wanting?