The 4 year old wins again

So my gal has had her son sleep with her sense birth (he is 4 now). We're trying to train him to sleep in his own bed. We have his bed right next to ours. After being woke-up 3 times crying for mommy. I decide to leave the room to smoke a cigarette to relax. Just as I entered the room, I noticed he was in bed with her. So I decide that I'm going to sleep on the couch, and my gal got upset with me because I didn't lay down to sleep in his bed... Seriously!?!?!?

Tricky. Many years ago when my kids were little we lived in a one bedroom flat. So we more or less all slept in the same room(the kids had cots to sleep in). When we moved to a three bedroom flat it was very difficult to get them to sleep in their own rooms. But with gentle perseverance and a lot of cuddles and pep talks it happened naturally. All I can say is be patient and try to consider your gals` feelings and more importantly her sons, good luck with it and best wishes, Dionysius.

There is great help available and advice and support.....either online or you could ask your childs health visitor or school nurse for advice and support.

Really to expect you to sleep in the childs bed is not on......the child should be reassured by you both and put back to bed in their own bed.......ok there may be tears etc but persistance and reassurance will help with that.

Putting the child in bed with her......may ease the problem in the short term but long term it is just creating a problem that needs to be faced and addressed........good luck x

I think you already know the obvious that having the child in the bed with you is a hindrance to your relationship and in the long run can be less than ideal for the kid. The thing here is though, that I'm guessing, you're not married, you're not even a step father. So the advice given related to finding solutions is kind of useless. Why? because whether you like it or not, this is going to be your gf's choice and she has to do something about it. Now if she's asking you for help in this area, all doors are open to finding ways to get him into his own bed through the night.

So with that out of the way, first thing you need to do is communicate with your gf about the impact this is having on you and the relationship and everything related to that, you need to get her on your side of the court to deal with this. She obviously does not see it how you do yet and that's the first step. Get her to want to move the child out of the bed with her or it's always going to be a battle with the child as he'll always know he can bend his mother his way.

on that note, there are ways to do this and I've done this with my own children so... have hope.

My oldest, went through a phase of wanting to sleep in my bed. Let's say, he's a bed hog, those times I entertained it, were the worst nights of sleep for me, and let's discount the couple of 'accidents' all over my new mattress.
And what about, my own insomnia, waking up, and not being able to go online, turn on a light and read, and certainly, no way, for me, to take a sleeping pill, if he's in my bed.
I have three sons. is it fair, to the other two, if he did this? Am I soothing him, or me? Then, at what point, was there struggle to break, what becomes a habit??

Four, five, six, seven, eight...when does it become, a bit excessive? My son, through those ages, went through this. And, it turned into, a putting foot down. It wasn't continuous, through those years, but tears were shed, they needed to be shed.

Good Luck, having this talk with your gf. It's a hot button topic.

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