[Broncos38]

Her mother didn't even bother reading the info that she found about us living together. She said "We'll talk about it later." She mentioned anything about it. And like her mother cares we're trying to be for finacially practical reasons. Like not keep driving so much. Putting wear and tear on my car. I can't afford a new car right now.

[healingme4me]

Because she's a control freak, that can't release the clutches she has on her thirty something daughter.

Is your fiancé, willing and able to take drastic measures?

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[Broncos38]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Because she's a control freak, that can't release the clutches she has on her thirty something daughter.

Is your fiancé, willing and able to take drastic measures?

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What kind of drastic measures? Please explain?

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by Broncos38

What kind of drastic measures? Please explain?

If she went against, her mothers wishes, what's the worst, that could happen? And, are you and your fiancé prepared, to survive, that?

You are grown adults, this control thing, from no-privacy showering, to telling her 31 year old daughter what to do, is over bearing, and your fiancé, May need therapy, to stop this control her,'mommy' holds over her.

Could result, in isolation tactics, being disowned, etc...

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[Broncos38]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

If she went against, her mothers wishes, what's the worst, that could happen? And, are you and your fiancé prepared, to survive, that?

You are grown adults, this control thing, from no-privacy showering, to telling her 31 year old daughter what to do, is over bearing, and your fiancé, May need therapy, to stop this control her,'mommy' holds over her.

Could result, in isolation tactics, being disowned, etc...

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Her mom likes and trusts me. But I really don't see the big deal of moving in together to be practical. And be more financially stable. Is it really right for my fiancee to be controlled by her mother?

[1776]

Not at that age.

[Broncos38]

Originally Posted by 1776

Not at that age.

Is there anything we can do, cause it'll be terrible if her mother breaks us apart? I really don't want that to happen cause I care about my fiancee.

You can just have her move in with you…I don't understand what her mother is going to do about it if she just moves in with you?

Would she be happier about it if you just got married? You could just go get a license and have a ceremony later (if you want a ceremony that is).

[Broncos38]

Originally Posted by I.Am.The.End.

You can just have her move in with you…I don't understand what her mother is going to do about it if she just moves in with you?

Would she be happier about it if you just got married? You could just go get a license and have a ceremony later (if you want a ceremony that is).

We tried that already it failed. Because of our parents didn't want us to do that without having a place to live.

But you have a place to live right? Or did I misunderstand previous posts? Can't she live where you're living until you find a better place if your current place isn't good enough? Or do you still live with your parents also?

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by Broncos38

Is there anything we can do, cause it'll be terrible if her mother breaks us apart? I really don't want that to happen cause I care about my fiancee.

Yes, ignore guilt trips. Is your fiancé, ok, about her mother treating her, like a teenage girl(or younger)? What does your fiancé, feel about all this? Would your fiancé, allow you, two, to be split up, because her Mom says to?

Even, after married, what role, will your future mother in-law, play? Will your fiancé, still look for approval, or permission, to make adult decisions?

You are engaged. At this point, it makes financial sense, to save on wear and tear on your vehicle. It makes, logistical sense, to get her acclimated, to more local doctors, if you don't plan to drive her, to the ones, she has. Makes sense, for adjustment to a new community. It makes sense. It's just, for some inane reason, you are both seemingly answering to someone elses demands.
Does, that concern you, in marriage, will it change??

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[Broncos38]

Originally Posted by I.Am.The.End.

But you have a place to live right? Or did I misunderstand previous posts? Can't she live where you're living until you find a better place if your current place isn't good enough? Or do you still live with your parents also?

We both live with parents but we're on waiting list to get a place. But I have a interview tomorrow and thinking getting a place near my new job when offered.

So when you hopefully get this job and get a place, then you move in together. You'll just have to ride out the inconvenience until then.

[Broncos38]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Yes, ignore guilt trips. Is your fiancé, ok, about her mother treating her, like a teenage girl(or younger)? What does your fiancé, feel about all this? Would your fiancé, allow you, two, to be split up, because her Mom says to?

Even, after married, what role, will your future mother in-law, play? Will your fiancé, still look for approval, or permission, to make adult decisions?

You are engaged. At this point, it makes financial sense, to save on wear and tear on your vehicle. It makes, logistical sense, to get her acclimated, to more local doctors, if you don't plan to drive her, to the ones, she has. Makes sense, for adjustment to a new community. It makes sense. It's just, for some inane reason, you are both seemingly answering to someone elses demands.
Does, that concern you, in marriage, will it change??

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No, my fiancee doesn't like being treated like a child. She CERTAINLY WON'T let us get split up because of her mother. She is DESPERATE to get out of the house and loves being with me NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. She has been actually HELPING to look for the right apartment she is so desperate. She WANTS OUT!! She has been looking to other resources to help back her up(i.e. Epilepsy Foundation, her now former nurse practitioner). She knows things aren't right, and really all she wanted was to not leave any unresolved issues at home. That was the reason she sought the help of a therapist to begin with. She was hoping it would help mend fences between her and her mother first. She wasn't TRYING to seek approval really. Just an easier way to talk to her mother.

[1776]

Your girl is going to have to cut the cord. It's really all up to her, and how much personal fortitude she has will determine the outcome of this situation.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by Broncos38

No, my fiancee doesn't like being treated like a child. She CERTAINLY WON'T let us get split up because of her mother. She is DESPERATE to get out of the house and loves being with me NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. She has been actually HELPING to look for the right apartment she is so desperate. She WANTS OUT!! She has been looking to other resources to help back her up(i.e. Epilepsy Foundation, her now former nurse practitioner). She knows things aren't right, and really all she wanted was to not leave any unresolved issues at home. That was the reason she sought the help of a therapist to begin with. She was hoping it would help mend fences between her and her mother first. She wasn't TRYING to seek approval really. Just an easier way to talk to her mother.

Good, to hear!!!

Ok, therapy, May not be able, to mend the fences, because, that would take two willing parties(her AND her mother). Brace yourself, for what happens, if she needs to not just cut the string, but pull out the entire cord

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[Broncos38]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Good, to hear!!!

Ok, therapy, May not be able, to mend the fences, because, that would take two willing parties(her AND her mother). Brace yourself, for what happens, if she needs to not just cut the string, but pull out the entire cord

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You're saying just move out, right? No matter what the outcome is going to be.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by Broncos38

You're saying just move out, right? No matter what the outcome is going to be.

Not entirely. Nothing good, comes from rash decisions. I am saying, that there could result in a bigger rift, if your fiancé just ups and moves out. At the same time, I am saying, that you are both grown adults, that need to work together to make decisions that affect both your lives, together.

You don't need my permission, to make decisions, so I cannot accept responsibility for this question, that you have asked of me.

If this is something you both want to do, what's holding you both back, from doing it?

[Broncos38]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Not entirely. Nothing good, comes from rash decisions. I am saying, that there could result in a bigger rift, if your fiancé just ups and moves out. At the same time, I am saying, that you are both grown adults, that need to work together to make decisions that affect both your lives, together.

You don't need my permission, to make decisions, so I cannot accept responsibility for this question, that you have asked of me.

If this is something you both want to do, what's holding you both back, from doing it?

We're on a waiting list for low income. But then again we are looking at an apartment later this week. It'll make our lives allot easier.