[bird_lover]

I just posted a few days ago (I think, it just seems like forever, lol), about my boyfriend and his dad's constant battles. They are draining me. I do not live with them. I only deal with it from afar, but it is draining me nevertheless. Let me recap for those of you that may have missed it....my bf, David, lives with his dad, Bob. Bob has always belittled David and yelled at him, and David never stood his ground, but it has gotten much worse recently. Now David cannot handle it, and is standing up for himself, I do not know if it is becuz I have told him he does not deserve to be treated with such disrespect and it is finally sinking in, but now David and Bob have constant battles. David now puts in as many hours at work as possible; Bob used to sleep at his gf's house, now he comes home and waits for David to come home and stays up just to fight with him. They have an all-out war. I know, David calls me and they are yelling and screaming, I ask, do you need to go and get this over with, he says, no, if I go, I am not sure what would happen.... This is unhealthy for both of them. Now the gf is getting involved. David makes excuses. I have told him to get out. He says, I don't make enough, well, I found a couple places I know very well he can afford. He says this will blow over in a couple days. It has been over 2 weeks now and it has not gotten better, if anything, it has gotten worse. David has been going to therapy 2x, but has stopped going. He has stopped communicating with me altogether. He has stopped telling me he loves me. I have no clue what is going on. I know something is very amiss with Bob, it could be abuse of prescription meds, a chemical imbalance in his brain, I really don't know. I am worried for David, he is in absolute denial. I can't help him and he won't help himself. Why is he now shutting me out??? I am the only person he said he has, his grandma died and his dad treats him like dirt, his mom walked out on him, I don't understand....I am hurt and confused. I don't try to interfere. I don't talk bad about his dad. Can anyone tell me what is happening here???? Do I need to just completely back off??? I have asked him what I should do and he will NOT tell me, he will not talk to me, I felt like we were moving forward, what is happening???? Can someone please inform me????? I am lost.....

[halbrooksprincez3]

I know you dont want to interfere, but sometimes you need to.

I would (if possible), go talk to Bob. Tell him how its making him feel, then tell him how it makes you feel. If you cant get anywhere with that, and you have full proof of Bob doing these drugs and whatnot, maybe its time for the police to get involved. I mean thats just me.

David isnt talking to you because he, himself, doesnt even know what to do. Hes scared that if you jump in the middle of it, you will get hurt. He's got a ton on his mind, and he doesnt want you to get involved. But again, its your choice.

When you get the chance next time to talk to David, tell him about your plans for getting a new place to live. Maybe that can be his hide-a-way.

Again, these are all just my opinions, but i mean it sounds like something should be done about it.

[bird_lover]

Thanks, but when I called this morning to ask to speak to David, Bob answered, yelling, no, why the hell are you calling?!?! at me and hung up. I called David on his cell and asked what happened and he said, my dad and I had it out again. I hate to put myself in the middle, Bob will say, David lives here and pays no bills, I am better than him, he fights with me, believe me, I know how he is, I have been around him long enough to know what I would be getting involved in. But I CANNOT just stand idly by and watch David be torn apart by Bob's words and actions. He stands up for himself but it is not enough. David has told me to just not say anything. I find it harder and harder not to, that is my personality, especially after Bob just was rude to me and hung up on me. I love David, he does not deserve this, and I cannot just sit there while Bob treats David like this while I am witnessing it with my own eyes and ears. It is hard to keep my mouth shut. Does anyone else think I should speak up even though David has asked me not to????? I am just avoiding the situation now, and that does not help David much, either.....

[halbrooksprincez3]

Yes, by this point i would. Bob is being rude to you and he doesnt need to be. Say something now. David will hate you for it right now, but in the long run, it may be better for him.