How do I keep my BPD from ruining this one?

I'm acting classic BPD, as always. But I don't want this to ruin yet ANOTHER relationship for me. I try my hardest to explain why I am the way I am, and to try to not act....crazy. But I have hit one of my lowest-if not THE lowest-time in my life. This is making me feel so hopeless. I have no motivation....no will. How do I go on? It's hard enough to feel this way, I don't want to drag him down with me T-T What do I do?

I also have a hard time with motivation, there seems to be no point in living anymore sometimes especially when everything seems to be happening at once. I think my meds really do work when that happens. I also think you might want to get a doc and t if possible if you're not already.

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. Have you talked to your significant other about your diagnosis? I also think that medication can help you from your downs.

Are you in DBT?

No Doctor, no medication....no insurance to do either. But I'm trying to find a way.

There is a helpful DBT Workbook by Author Matthew McKay. I purchased it at Barnes & Noble for around $20.00. It will make a difference, IF you do the work. This book is used, and handed out by professionals in DBT classes. Sure it won't fix ALL your problems, but it would be a good start if you don't have it already.

The reality is that you can't really hide this sort of thing from someone who's close to you. If they care about you, you can only really explain as clearly as possible what the difficulties are and hope that they're supportive - I mean if the relationship continues they'd have to know eventually wouldn't they?

I think if you can get yourself into some sort of treatment at least it would help you in the more difficult times. If things get really bad you could try medication but again this would need to be given by a psychiatrist. I'm in the UK so I don't quite understand how it works where you are but if you go to ER could you at least be seen by someone then? They may be able to advise you. Other than that there are really only self help websites and local support groups.

Check out the BPD board if you haven't already as you mind find some of the advice there useful. Good luck.

I do not know if my words will really offer any help to you Sara - but I guess I would just say RELAX.

I have very positive vibes from you. I think your story is going to end up well.... maybe with this guy, maybe not with this guy. But I do think you will find your happiness.