Ok so my girlfriend my love my best friend has cheated on me.... She claims things were bad between us and at a moment of alcoholic weakness she did the last thing i thought she would ever do. Now i heard it from her mouth, when i taunting her with the question... "is there anything you need to tell me" people say i should give credit for that. WHATEVER... It has been about 2 months since I received this heart breaking news and have since decided to offer her a second chance. The reason for the second chance is... if you knew her, this kind of behavior is not her personality, also, she expresses to me that she wishes she could take it back, she feels dirty and disgusting when she thinks about it, and tells me i didnt desrve this and i deserve someone better... I believer that she is sorry, and when she says it was the first and last time, I made my decision to try again and truly want to. Since I have found out she keeps nothing from me and has made some positive steps to show me she is serious about not losing me, and she is comfortable knowing my trust is shattered and wants to rebuild it no matter how long it takes. My problem is, as i no longer feel the hostility part of the anger.... I cant help but to replay hearing what i heard come out of her mouth... and when i replay it, it makes my stomach sink and brings my anger right back. Now she has answered all the questions I have for her, but as anyone knows you never feel like you got the truth fully, but i know the hard facts, do i really want to know more, this was not a prolonged thing... all this happened in the matter of a couple weeks when reconnecting with her high school FEMALE friend who basically introduced her and him... However, my decision is made. What I need to know is, Will I ever be able to get past this and let it be a distant memory. Can we grow to be best friends again, we have been intimate since and honestly it is back to amazing, But I still cant get it out of my head, even though the sting is not so bad anymore, the disgust and resentment still lingers and takes a toll on my attitude when it arises.... I dont want to throw away what we had or what we can have If i can get over this, she is a great girl, the best i have ever been with....... Please, anyone with this kind of experience...any good advice is appreciated...!!!

[lightinthesky]

Originally Posted by French-Rican

Ok so my girlfriend my love my best friend has cheated on me.... She claims things were bad between us and at a moment of alcoholic weakness she did the last thing i thought she would ever do. Now i heard it from her mouth, when i taunting her with the question... "is there anything you need to tell me" people say i should give credit for that. WHATEVER... It has been about 2 months since I received this heart breaking news and have since decided to offer her a second chance. The reason for the second chance is... if you knew her, this kind of behavior is not her personality, also, she expresses to me that she wishes she could take it back, she feels dirty and disgusting when she thinks about it, and tells me i didnt desrve this and i deserve someone better... I believer that she is sorry, and when she says it was the first and last time, I made my decision to try again and truly want to. Since I have found out she keeps nothing from me and has made some positive steps to show me she is serious about not losing me, and she is comfortable knowing my trust is shattered and wants to rebuild it no matter how long it takes. My problem is, as i no longer feel the hostility part of the anger.... I cant help but to replay hearing what i heard come out of her mouth... and when i replay it, it makes my stomach sink and brings my anger right back. Now she has answered all the questions I have for her, but as anyone knows you never feel like you got the truth fully, but i know the hard facts, do i really want to know more, this was not a prolonged thing... all this happened in the matter of a couple weeks when reconnecting with her high school FEMALE friend who basically introduced her and him... However, my decision is made. What I need to know is, Will I ever be able to get past this and let it be a distant memory. Can we grow to be best friends again, we have been intimate since and honestly it is back to amazing, But I still cant get it out of my head, even though the sting is not so bad anymore, the disgust and resentment still lingers and takes a toll on my attitude when it arises.... I dont want to throw away what we had or what we can have If i can get over this, she is a great girl, the best i have ever been with....... Please, anyone with this kind of experience...any good advice is appreciated...!!!

I posted it somewhere already but will do again as I was in this situation. I was in the relationship and I cheated on my bf. I wasn't even drunk. I was too young and stupid and didn't value love and relationship and commitment like I do now when I have experience. Anyway. . Cheating was the biggest mistake I've ever done in my life and I've hurt my bf so much, I was wishing I could somehow hurt myself back to take away his pain but couldn't. People say "once a cheater always a cheater" belive or not it is not like that, I never did and would never do it again.
It was very hard for him to forgive me but he did even tho he is a strict man. But he made a mistake that really damaged our relationship even more. He didn't let it go. He was always mentioning it in our conversation or asking questions etc. I did my best to protect him, my phone was always there for him to check it if he wants, I wasn't going out, changed friends and job. We've lived together for another 3 years after that, one day I found out the he was flirting with some girl from work and that he went to her house and he spent a day with her there, kissing and who knows what else... when I asked him why he did it he said he wanted to pay me back. I also found out the she wasn't the first one he was flirting with and he would always complain to them about what I've done in the past and that he is so good and he forgave me and I hurt him so much.
What I want to say.. people do make mistakes and sometimes they only realize how much the love the one they can lose now. And if you truly love her you need to do whatever it takes to make it work, you need to let it go and don't keep the anger inside. Don't think of yourself as a God who had let her stay with you and for sure don't let yourself change your behaviour just because she made a mistake, you are responsible for your own actions. If you forgive, move on and never mention it, leave it in the past. Learn how to trust her again without her seeing you suffering. It is hard but if you want you can make it work, if your love worth it, do it. If you dont leave it in the past it will be chasing you forever. I know how it feels like. But sometimes we learn only from our own mistakes, unfortunately. Hope it helps

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i have forgiven her... we dont ever want to talk about it.... i hate the subject coming up. and we both would like it to just go away.... unfortunately, its not that cut and dry. what she did, has altered how i trust her and question her love and dedication... this is the stuff she is working hard to earn back... but, she lost it once and now is hard to not think, how serious does she take this relationship... only time will give me that answer and make me believe it again. i do not make her relive it, i hate talking about it, and she hates remembering it... we are trying to move on from it. even though like i said the anger has gone i still feel betrayed... i just want that to pass and know if people have truly moved on from their experience...

[lightinthesky]

When my bf "paid me back" cheating on me, I moved on because of love and I felt like we have something special and it was a mistake. Gotta say tho that the end of story wasn't nice. Best of luck. But it is possible to move one if you both try hard, you are going to do the hardest part, forgive and forget.

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