[seeker1950]

Hey, I know this isn't earth shattering, but I am pissed with this woman. First, she comes to me and tells me her toddler twin grandchildren are roughing up this tiny three pound Yorkie I gave her. When I gave the do to her, she was alone and wanting a lapdog, but now she has a house full of kids and a pregnant daughter sans husband who can't support them. Next...she tells me at lunch that the dog has fleas and she can't get rid of them. I tell her..."You need to get Frontline, which you apply to the back of the dog, and that will get rid of them." She says she doesn't know anything about that product, so feeling bad for the dog, I go out of my way to purchase the Frontline, sending it to her the next morning at work, along with the receipt for $16.00. I see her in the hall that afternoon, and ask, "Did you get the Frontline?" to which she replies..."Yes, Thanks!" Like I should still be buying stuff for this dog which I gave her a year ago.
I don't know, folks, but if it were me, I would have paid the person who sent the receipt and the flea treatment promptly. Am I wrong about this. I'm having trouble even speaking to the woman now, and I work with her!
I paid $1,000 for this little dog, and gave it to her because I thought she'd get better care and more attention.
Patty

[biplol]

(((Patty)))) I know hon, i hate when people just don't own their stuff.
No, you are not wrong, she should pay you back, but I know how frustating this can be.
if I find a way for you to ask her for the money, I'll let you know.
Let me think!!! (I'm thinking)

[seeker1950]

Thanks, I"m not gonna ask her for money...NO way.
I am just concerned for the welfare of the dog, which I discussed with her repeatedly.
Patty

Yea I know the feeling I used to feel like people were just expecting me to do things for them until a therapist pointed out to me things like - did the person that I did something for ask me to do that thing for them? the answer was no I just went out and did it. Then my therapist told me t hat ethically, morally and legally when someone just goes out and does things for another person that thing is considered a gift not requiring pay backs and so on. So then anytime I wanted to do something for someone else and I knew that it was something that I would need to be paid back for I would discuss doing that for the person with the person. Including if I needed to be paid back. most of the time I tell my friends and neighbors 'Hey how about if I do this for you?" and they let me know if it is ok. Other times I say something like - if you would like I can go get you the flea shampoo for your cat but I will need to be paid back in time to pay my bills on this date would you be able to do that and does this sound ok to you? Sometimes we end up in a barter type situation where I will do something for them and later on that month they will do something for me like one time I bought my neighber some cat shampoo and so she towards the end of the month bought my cat some food.

Thanks to that therapist explaining things to me about what is considered a gift and what is considered a loan I no longer get into frustrating situations where I just go out and do things for others and then feel bad because they didn't pay me back. Now its clear to me and those I encounter when what I do is a loan and when what I do is just because I want to gift kind of thing.

[biplol]

WEll, seeker do u want the doggie back? If you are close to FL, and the dog is small, mmm, I'd say, I'd want it!~

[seeker1950]

Bipol...I'd love to have the doggie back, but I doubt now this is going to happen. I actually hounded her for days after she told me she was thinkng of giving her back to me because the dog was snapping at the toddlers. Then she said she was going to keep her...then the story about the fleas. I'm just going to have to let it go.
Love
Patty

[biplol]

Oh patty, how bad, but, well, I hope everyhitng work out.
~hugs~

[nothemama8]

ya could tell her if she doesn't take better care of the doggie, you'll gladly take it back, or you may have to report her to the animal protection ppl, she may give the dog back in fear
Love
Angie

get 'em, angie! i agree with you.......p--- or get off the pot!

[darkeyes]

((((((( nothemama ))))))))

I agree with you wholeheartedly, in fact I'd just ask for the dog back at this point.

[bebop]

I think I would tell her I would like to have the dog back too. tell her it was not use to kids and that is why it snaps at them. the poor little thing must be terrified! I have wanted a 3lb yorkie forever! they are so sweet and tiny!

[Perna]

It's hard to tell how much of a problem there is and/or whether the woman is yanking your chain because she's jealous or unhappy with you or something else totally. It doesn't sound like she really wanted the dog in the first place or is interested in/knows how to take care of it well -- I would have immediately taken a dog someone gave me to my vet or its previous vet (if I didn't have a vet near me I knew about/wanted to use) to get it established and looked over and a baseline report, make sure its shots were up-to-date, transfer it's medical records, etc.

But if you have given her the dog and it doesn't sound like she's going to give it back, I'd limit the conversation so she doesn't tell you about the dog and upset you (since there really isn't anything you can do about it now?). If she asked me questions like with the fleas and doesn't understand my answers I'd suggest she ask the dog's vet and keep urging her to have the dog looked over by her vet (rather than talking to you). It sounds to me like she is trying to "hurt" you in some way by mentioning how the dog is doing poorly under her care when you can't do anything about it! I'd at least stop the passive aggressive talk if I couldn't get the dog back.

[seeker1950]

Thanks, all of you for your insights and compassion for hte llittle doggie.
I think Perna has a very good point about this woman. She is very unhappy, both in her marriage and with the dysfunctional behavior of her children....like the daughter who keeps getting pregnant and coming back home to be taken care of because of the lousy husband, and the son who was convicted of a felony. These are grown kids who can't seem to make it on their own. Also, she has told me several times how she and her husband haven't touched each other for years. One time last year, she invited me out to dinner with the two of them. I could see her watching her husband and his conversation with me. I think this is the only reason she arranged the dinner.
Anyway, I am avoiding her now. The dog is history for me, I am pretty sure, unless she approaches me to tell me she wants me to take it back.
Thanks again, all,
Patty