[Janey777]

I grew up in a middle class neighborhood, but unfortunately my parents were neglectful & abusive to me and I had a hard time fitting in. I did not finish college and had a hard time keeping a job and being financially solvent. Now I am on disability and I feel embaressed talking about my life with old school mates (who were either friends or friendly aquaintances) Also even feel odd around cousins (who are mostly middle class or above) and around siblings friends. Anyone else feel this way? It's quite depressing.

[eskielover]

Does your uncomfortable feelings really have anything to do with class level or are you uncomfortable around everyone? When we have grown up socially uncomfortable it usually donot feel comfortable being social with anyone.

Getting into good therapy can be a great belp

Raises Hand**

I feel that way alll the time. It makes me feel ashamed and overall uncomfortable to get into those topics of conversation with someone I either dont know or someone that is clearly in a higher social class. It shouldnt bother me but it weighs on me quite a bit

I wrote a long sappy depressing post about it

I cant offer any advice but i can definitely relate

[Janey777]

Thanks imalooney and eskie. I don't feel uncomfortable around all middle class - the spiritual and philosophical types - but others - I do - I'll just have to try harder to get over it, and be thankful for what I have.

[Koko2]

What kind of things do these middle class people do or say that make you uncomfortable? Do they watch too much Brady Bunch reruns or what?

[Anika.]

I feel that way often. For me it is not anything they do or say, it is what I have heard in my childhood about my mother being from the wrong side of the tracks from my fathers family. My father's family was quite wealthy, my mother's family was very poor and criminal ( tho my mother was never a criminal). My father was an alcoholic and we were probably lower middleclass, tho most of our money went to my father's addiction. He was also abusive and it was just a very dysfunctional upbringing.

When my parents divorced my father's family and my father left my sister and I in the past, zero contact. My mother left me homeless as a youth and I struggled very hard to find any normalicy. I am now a divorced mother of three who fled from my abusive husband, even tho I managed to get through college I am on disability. I have a bf of 7 years who comes from a good loving home who are well off as well and excepted my children and I with open arms. Even tho I have worked very hard to get where I am I continue to feel that I am from the wrong side of the tracks and do not really fit in. Like an imposter almost. Most of the people I know are middle or upper class, and I do find it hard to feel comfortable and as tho I do fit where I am.

That said, I am a loving person, I do what I can to help others, I value people over things. I work very hard part time at a low paying job as a maid for extra money to help give my kids a better life. I know that I do my best as a mom, a girlfriend, daughter, sister and friend. My children are really great and heartful young people, I must not be failing at everything even tho It feels I am sometimes.

So maybe if you feel anything like me, the feelings as far as I can see come from within. I often compare myself to others in middleclass and feel disappointed with myself for where I am at which is poor really. I often forget the challenges and barriers I had to overcome to even get to where I am now. We were not all born on equal playing ground either. I've been trying to work on appreciating where I am, and acknowledging that I have worked hard, my life may look different than others, but I also have other successes that are unique to my situation, and they still have value.

I don't know if any of that helps you, but I understand the feeling of not fitting in there or anywhere really. This is something I have been working on for the last year or so, I don't want to feel like an imposter my whole life, and no one is going to tell me to turn in my pearls, I just need to realize that maybe there is no real dividing line.

[Perna]

It it really class or do you just feel you "should" be where your friends/acquaintances are at since you started there and grew up around them, etc.? I know when I was in my 20's and struggling and my high school and college friends were doing well I was embarrassed that I was not doing equally as well. I wish I had understood at the time that life is a bit of a roller coaster and what we and others "expect" has nothing to do with what really happens; who we marry, how healthy/sick we and our family are, jobs that come or go, etc. can make a big difference and isn't really in our control. Who we are has nothing much to do with how much money we have or what jobs. It is like single people who think being married is great but some married folks wish they were alone/single and could do what they want, young people think they can do things better than their parents until they become parents and see it is not that simple, etc. I do not think life is about reward and punishment or personal success or failure.